Secret behind blue eyes

Et tu, Tony? Et tu, Y/N?

Y/Ns POV:

After a long week...Steve and I finally got back from mission with Nat and Clint of course. We rescued them from HYDRA base and arrested Rumlow. I was so excited to see Bucky but I didnt know what happened yet.

"Hey, Buck, I'm home.... I told you everything was going to be okay, we rescued Clint and N-...", I said as I was entering the room, but stopped once I realized he wasn't there. "Huh...This is strange...Its not like him to just go somewhere.", I thought to myself and started searching for him across tower.

"Bucky.....,Bucky!!!", I yelled but didn't got any response.

"Bucky...Bu-", I continued shouting as I came close to Tony's office when I heard voice saying: "He is not here Y/N!", I turned around and saw Tony standing behind me, looking very angry.
"Wha-what do you mean? Tony, what happened? Where is he?", I asked panicking.
"Down in the basement... Where we keep all the monsters...." he said.
I felt rage growing inside of me. "WHAT? WHY? Tony, how could you do that?", I yelled at him.
"Y/N, he ATTACKED me! He almost KILLED me!", he said as he showed me the bruise on his arm where Bucky apparently grabbed him.
"What? Bu-but why? He had to have a reason.... He wouldn't just attack you for no reason?", I said.
*Or would he?, I thought in my mind. I didn't know what to think. I cared for Bucky and I trusted him but Tony's brusie looked pretty real and kinda bad. Is it possible that Bucky lied all this time to me*
" He is a monster, Y/N. That's his reason", Tony said more calmly now.
I snapped out of my mind and looked him in his brown eyes that looked at me concerned.
"Ugh, I don't know what to believe... I need to talk to Bucky. Please, Tony let me go downstairs alone...", I sighed as I begged him to listen.
"Okay, but talk to him just trough glass, ok, Y/N? I don't want you to get hurt.", He asked and I agreed because at this moment I wasn't sure if I could trust Bucky.
As I walked down in basement I could just see part of Buckys cage and as I knew he was in there I started talking:" Hey, Bucky... Are you OK? It's me, Y/N. Listen, I wanted to talk to you... I talked to Tony and I...", I stopped once when I got close to cage and saw him shaking on the floor. I panicked. I tried to open the door but I couldn't, I didn't know how.
"TONY!", I screamed and he immediately run down.
"Please, open the door", I begged him.
"Y/N... We had a deal..."
"Tony! He is having a panic attack, I need to help him, please open the door... NOW!" I said, my voice was shaking.
He sighed, and opened the door.
"Step aside...", I said to Tony as I run inside the cage sitting down next to Bucky and pulling him into a hug.
"Shhhhh, it's ok, Buck, I'm here...", I said.

"Y/N? I-I'm sorry...", Bucky said looking at me scared as he closed his eyes and collapsed in my arms. He was exhausted from that panic attack.

*He is sorry? For what? Did Tony told the truth? But how? Why? All this questions were going trough my head and I started to suspect in Bucky even if I didn't hear  his side of a story. To be honest I even started to be afraid of him.*  

I snapped out of my mind when I felt Bucky shifting. He woke up and sit up right next to me. I don't know why but I panicked. I started to be afraid of him for no apparent reason. He noticed that I was afraid and in attempt to calm me down he put his hand on my shoulder. I jumped back.
"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! Y-YOU...",I screamd and my voice shaking.
"Y/N? Wha-what? Why? What happend? Are you mad at me because of something?", Bucky asked looking at me confused.
"Am I mad? Bucky, you attacked Tony for no reason. YES! I am mad and I'm scared. How can I be sure you won't hurt me?" I said almost crying now.
Bucky POV:
I couldn't belive what I just heard. Y/N acussed me for attacking Tony even though she didn't know what really happend. Y/N... The one and only person who actually believed in me, the one who believed I could be saved even when I didn't believe that.
"Is that really what you belive?", I said holding back tears.
"Why would Tony lied? He showed me the brusie, Bucky and it looks really bad.", she said and her (Y/E/C) eyes were fool of tears. I couldn't stand watching her so scared of me and I realized there is no much use in convincing her otherwise.
"Y/N, you know that I wold never hurt you but I can see that you are afraid of me right now and I can't stand it so instead of trying to convince you othewise I will let you find out the truth yourself. I know you will and I will stay here for as long as you need  or want me to.", I said.
" No, no, no.... Y-you... Ugh, you won't stay here, Bucky... ", she sighed.
" Bu-but you just said... "
" I was wrong... ", she cutted me off.
I gave her a small smile.
" I-I mean... I still don't trust you as I did before so you will not sleep in my room anymore but you are right... I do not know the whole story and you don't deserve to be here... At least not yet. ", she said letting out a light laugh.
I laughed back. "OK, thank you.. ", I said. "but can I ask you one  thing if it's not to much?"
"Sure... Go ahead.", she said.
"Could I at least stay in a room that is close to your room? I-I won't bother you... It's just..."I stopped talking, looking at her realizing that I don't want to lose her. I want to be close to here in any way possible. I love her and I didn't have guts to say that to her.
" It's just what? ", I snapped out of my mind when I heard her voice.
" It's just... I... Y/N... this week without you was the worst week of my life. I didn't feel so scared and unsafe even in my intire time in Hydra or when you appeard on my doorstep in Romania and I thought that you came there to kill me. And I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to feel safe and you... You make me feel safe Y/N.", I said blushing like crazy.
" Of course you can... Your room will be right next to mine", she said smiling and also blushing a litlle.