The Rose & Her Thorn

Part 39

"Well, I don't think you and I have the same reasons to feel lonely," said Vikram. A morose stretch adorned his twitching lips, and she did not miss the melancholic strain in his otherwise determined tone.

"I didn't mean to compare. I... I just want to let you know I can relate," said Shikha, tucking a stray tendril of hair behind her warm ears. "Maybe not the fullest extent of your feelings, but I can try because I experienced something similar is what I wanted to say."

Vikram shut his eyes and his eyebrows arched for the fraction of a second before he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I know you mean well. It's just... a raw nerve," he said. He took a sharp inhale and let out the air with a slight tilt of his head to the ground.

"I think it's best if we don't speak about that. I don't want to go ten steps back on the progress we made because of my past. Those memories ruined enough of my future already."

Shikha cast an empathetic glance in his direction and regarded his defeated form with disbelief swirling in her eyes. It clicked to her why he made such a good manipulator - he had practiced the subtle art of manipulation on himself to maintain the facade of nonchalance for years.

"It doesn't have to be that way, but if you are not comfortable sharing, I respect that. If you change your mind about this, you would know where to find me," she said, and he reciprocated with a tight-lipped smile and a curt nod. She rose to her feet with an awkward smile and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before she turned around on her heel to walk out.

Vikram rested his back against the wall and let out a sigh. He had bared his heart to her once, and it had caused his expectations from her to soar through the roof. He would not make the same mistake twice, not if he could help it.

His gaze softened as he stared at her retreating form. How he wished to stop her, look in her decadent hazel orbs, and dissect his pain for her to erase. Alas, he had lost that chance when he trampled upon her trust in him years ago.

________________________________________________________

"You forgot me, Rohan! You came after so many weeks! Looks like you made new friends," said Shikha, huffing and crossing her arms against her chest. Rohan chuckled at her antics. Her nostrils flared, and she narrowed her eyes at the tall man.

"Will Daal Baati and Churma help me win your forgiveness? I know you love it and missed it!" he said, taking three sealed containers out of the jute bag he held. Shikha's eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise. The childlike twinkle in her eyes made Rohan shake his head.

The twinkle faded away, and she trained her eyes back to the man with furrowed eyebrows. "Is it safe to eat? I'm paranoid about everything these days," she asked.

"Of course it is safe! Besides, do you think Vikram would allow me to bring you something that would affect you or the baby? No way!"

Rohan had expected her lips to stretch towards her ears once again, but they twitched towards the chin. "Why did you never tell me you worked for Vikram all these years? Why did I have to learn from him?" she asked.

Rohan flashed her an apologetic smile and held her shoulder with a gentle grip. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell, but I was not sure if it would not terrify you. But you are right. You deserved to know!"

Shikha gazed into his repentant eyes and her lips tugged to the right side as she held her groans from spilling out of her chapped lips. "How did you take the leap of faith, Rohan? He terrified you! How did you end up working for him?"

A sardonic smile danced on Rohan's lips, and his arms fell to his side. "He had crumbled that day when I handed him your letter. It had taken me aback to know he had known it all along about your plans, and he said he did not regret letting you go, but his own actions which failed to convince you of his sincerity."

Shikha stared at her yesteryear best friend with bewilderment in her misted eyes. "It was unfathomable, of course. But it appeared sincere. He had started the proceedings to act as a CI for the government, and he wanted me to act as a contact because no one would suspect me. I... I, uh, needed the money, so I took up the offer," he said, shrugging his shoulders and pushed his palms into the pockets of his black trousers.

He had uttered nothing she had not known until then, but hearing them had hitched her breath at her throat. "You knew all these years and never told me, Rohan."

An indignant huff escaped her thinned lips, and she averted her eyes from her friend with vexation. "Would it have made a difference?"

She had wondered the same when Vikram had revealed the truth to her underneath on that clandestine evening under the moon. Her heart and her mind, her hope and her hatred - both had presented their cases, and had made the answer clear.

"No. It would not have. I would second-guess myself at every step of that path, but I would still walk down that road," she said, letting out a defeated sigh and settling into the chair.

He walked to her side and placed his tentative hand over her right shoulder. She stiffened under his fingers. "And that's what I wanted to avoid, Shikha. You deserved to start your life with a fresh slate. I did not want to endanger your chances at a new life!"

She angled her head to look into Rohan's sincere eyes and gave him a halfhearted and an almost imperceptible nod. "Did... did he ever ask about me?"

Rohan settled in a chair across from her and shook his head in negative. "Once. When I requested him to leave for your wedding."

"Rajasthan? Are you visiting someone?" asked Vikram.

He scrolled down the PowerPoint presentation for his upcoming seminar with an occasional glance toward the nervous man standing opposite him. "Yes, sir. Shikha."

Vikram's jaw clenched and his finger stilled against his iPad screen. He appeared to forget to blink and to breathe as neither his eyelids nor his chest moved for a few tense and silent moments. "You can have the off," he said in a cold tone, and taking large strides away from the younger man.

Rohan stared at his boss' retreating form with confusion when Vikram stopped in his path and turned around on his heel with obvious hesitance in his stance. "How is she? Is she happy?"

Rohan could not act beyond a curt affirmative nod. He had little idea how to condense three years of her journey into an answer. Vikram turned away, without a response to the answer, and turned around the corner to escape Rohan's field of vision.

Shikha took a sharp inhale and massaged her temples. With the unveiling of every fresh piece of information, Shikha had found her heart falling deeper to the well of the quandary. "I wish this was not so complicated. I wish!"

Rohan had often hoped for the same in the past, and he could not stop himself from placing a concerned hand over her drooped shoulder as she supported her heavy head with her fingers. _______________________________________________

"Can I sit here? Only if you don't mind, of course."

The outline of Shikha's soft features glowed under the moonlight. With the light dancing around her like a halo, she appeared like an angel to the desolate man. "Of course," she said, moving aside to give him space to settle on the swing.

The serenity of the garden was in stark contrast to the hullabaloo of the birthday party which had just ended. While it had acquainted him with the emptiness of his heart, the tranquility promised him the respite he craved, especially with her beside him.

He had expected her to walk away and leave him alone, but she had surprised him by staying back. A tiny smile danced on his visage as he regarded her form. Her distant eyes told a different tale from her relaxed body language. The whiff of the sandalwood fragrance from the paste she had applied over her forehead eased the knots behind his eyes.

The ripples from the pond, from the frogs' hopping, and the rustling of leaves from the gentle breeze had disrupted the silence between them. Not a word exchanged between them. And yet, he had never felt more connected with her than in that moment of absolute solace.