SWEET ESCAPE || poe dameron x reader

chapter nineteen: stars

"I won't sugar coat this, Black-Ten,"

You clenched your jaw through another sprint, rounding the slaloming paths of the outer forests and not stopping to catch your breath.

"I can't predict him anymore,"

Biting down on your lower lip, you leapt into the air, jumping over a two-meter-wide gash in the forest floor. You landed with a grunt, your ankles almost snapping, but nevertheless persisted around another bend.

"If he showed up, it was because he knows of what you did after Heidi's death,"

You shook your head; hard and fast. You didn't want the memories of your destruction anymore. You didn't want to relive the pain every time you worried about Kylo Ren knowing who the fuck you were. It was because of what you did, for her, for Heidi.

"The First Order knows the Resistance has someone who possesses a powerful Force,"

All actions had consequences. These were yours.

"All you can do is train, harness your Force, and never stop fighting,"

Leia's words had been traversing your mind for a fortnight. Her voice spoke in your mind as if she was stood right next to you, and each time you thought of that conversation with her you wanted to crawl underneath a rock and never emerge.

Kylo Ren knew who you were. He knew you were a threat, he knew you took down a Star Destroyer single-handedly and exploded their bridge. It was only a matter of time before he knew your name, your age, your past life, everything.

It was only a matter of time before he figured out a way to snap you up for himself.

Poe was always there. He held your hand in the mess hall. He caressed his fingers over your knuckles after training. He spoke softly over the comms on your perimeter searches. Dameron didn't know the extent of your fear, but he knew you were feeling it. You'd been uncharacteristically quiet since you'd emerged from Leia's chambers before. Your skin had been slightly colder, your limbs tenser, your mind more shut off.

You were doing it to yourself. Working yourself to the bone until you were so tired that you could sleep somewhat soundly, exhausting yourself so you didn't have the energy to think about the pressure and fear that rested on your shoulders.

The night Poe crawled into your bunk, you snapped.

Your sobs sounded pitiful in your ears as they bubbled through your chest. It was a proper cry, one that made your shoulders shake and your breathing stumble and start like a powering up X-wing. Poe only held you, not uttering a word and allowing you to keep your face pressed firmly to his bare chest.

He let you weep through the layers of his skin, keeping you clutched to his body as if you were the same being. His sadness was soaking through the sheets, mingling with the mattress, but still he kept his mouth shut. You were the main priority of his care in the moment, and it made you feel both happy and guilty.

"I'm sorry," you muttered, trying not to picture how you looked with tears, dried and wet, soaking your entire face. "This isn't your burden, it's mine,"

"Don't for one second think that you're burdening me when you're struggling," he said lowly, placing a peck to your forehead. You could hear his heartbeat as clear as day, pitter pattering in his chest. It calmed you, listening to his human noise.

"Every mission we go on scares me to death, Poe," you admitted, swallowing painfully. "Because as soon as we break the atmosphere and emerge from hyper-space, he might be there. He might be waiting for me,"