Rekindling

Chapter 3 - Empty

I shiver and cuddle a bit closer to my brother.

The sun is now very low in the sky and I have lost track of time. It feels like it has been evening for hours now, but the sun refuses to set. It refuses to let this dreadful day end. And a part of me is thankful for this. It almost feels like the sun is trying to help us by providing at least a tiny bit of brightness. I don't know how I will react once darkness engulfs us not only from the inside, but from our surroundings, too. It isn't a prospect I am looking forward to.

Luke must have noticed that I am wanting for a bit of warmth. He stops his guitar playing and wraps his right arm around my shoulders. Immediately, I soak up the heat his body provides. It is a mystery to me how he is not feeling cold. My arms and legs are covered in goosebumps and I have more than once considered going inside to either grab a blanket or a sweater.

Although it is July, evenings up on the mountain can get deceptively cold. Sam has made sure to remind me of that fact at least three times every evening since we came here.

Sam.

The thought of him almost tears me apart. However, I successfully manage to suppress the sob that is fighting to get out. I have cried enough in the past few hours to last me a lifetime, it seems. And still, it doesn't feel as if it is even remotely enough to mourn the brother who, only a few hours ago, was driving me crazy running around the house with nervous energy oozing from his every pore in anticipation of the race.

The race that sealed his fate.

I gasp as this paralyzing thought enters my brain.

Stop it, Lily!

Stop thinking like this.

I have been giving myself mental pep-talks ever since Luke explained that my oldest brothers were on their way here and that Alex is a mess. Well, he didn't say it exactly like that, but it doesn't take a genius to picture what this accident must have done to him. The last thing I want is to add to Alex's agony. So, I am preparing myself for that encounter – while at the same time I try to come up with a plan to avoid seeing him for as long as possible.

Luke must have heard my gasp because he briefly squeezes me against his side. Thankfully, he doesn't comment though. I don't really feel like talking, least of all about my tumultuous emotions. Just sitting here, in the evening's fading sun light, listening to him playing the guitar is about all I can stand. It gives me a strange kind of comfort, too.

Suddenly, my brother shuffles a bit backwards and then pulls me over his right thigh and positions me in between his legs. I feel like a rag doll at being manhandled like that, and normally, I would make my displeasure known. But I don't have the energy right now, so I just settle against him and lean back into his chest.

Luke snakes his right arm around me and with his left puts the guitar back into his lap. Well, more like my lap now, due to the position we are sitting in. Any other time, this would have been kind of awkward, but right now, I cannot be bothered to even think about it too much.

"That's better," he mutters, more to himself, and picks up playing that same song again that he has been repeating for a while.

"Hmm?" I hum, not understanding what he is referring to.

"I couldn't properly reach the strings with you sitting beside me and with my arm around your – now that I think about it – surprisingly wide shoulders," he explains. "Somebody is slowly growing up..."

His teasing is good-natured but I am not in the mood to joke around, so I just nod. I feel him place a quick kiss on top of my head and then he changes the tune. All the songs he has played so far sound familiar, but I couldn't name even one of them. They all have one thing in common though: they are incredibly sad and if I weren't trying so hard to control my emotions, I would be openly crying just listening to my brother expertly fingerpicking tune after mournful tune.