Never to be yours

Chapter 1 :The man in the shadows

They say that a man is at his most vulnerable when he is broken and alone and that the hand who pats his back would never be forgotten.

It was a saying I didn't take too seriously until I met him. It was that day that I had regretted our meeting. That I regretted being the hand who helped awake him from his misery because now as I stood holding a knife in my hand with his unconscious body in front of me I knew that this was a scar that I would never heal from.

It's a story that broke me every time I thought of it, but I needed to let it out. I needed to be heard. I wasn't a murderer, I didn't want to hurt him but his love destroyed me and had me turned into someone who that I didn't recognise.

So if your heart is stronger than mine and you can handle the toxic fumes of love then you need to know my story for it may be the last that I relay.

It all started on a day that I camped in unknown forest with my two friends. A cloudy sky, stormy rain and thunder that screeched above us almost as a warning , as an omen telling me not to go.

My mother had always said when circumstances prevented you from doing something or going somewhere it was the universes way of protecting you. But I was stubborn and relentless in pursuit of what I wanted so I constantly clashed with the universe against its will.

My friend Lira began stomping her boots through the puddles of water as she pouted in misery.

"I don't want to go, look at the weather. Who enters a dark forest at midnight with a storm?" She yell-whispered and I laughed it off feeling carefree .

"I do, what better time to find what lurks in the dark than right now?" I made a spooky gesture and she glared at me. The truth was, I was even more scared of the dark but I knew I'd be okay as long as I wasn't alone. As long as I had a hand to hold onto and as we three held each other's hands, Lira , me and Rose, I knew that we'd be okay .

We had no source of light except for the torch on our phones and there was an eerie silence that lingered in the air.It made my heart jump in fear,excitement and a rush of not knowing what would happen.

At that moment I heard a whimper and paused walking. "Did you guys hear that?" They stared at me with confusion.

"Hear what? There's not a sound for miles away". Rose uttered and her being the sensible one I believed her words and knew it must have been my own mind playing tricks against me in the dark.

We continued walking through the gravel and rocks when I heard more whimpering and it sounded too real to simply be a trick of the mind.

"Guys can you wait here for me? Theres something I want to check". They stared at me in disbelief.

"What would you check in a forest? Don't you hate the dark?We'll come too". I removed my hand from theirs and insisted.

"I'll be fine just give me a minute okay?" Lira nodded and stayed silent and I knew the look that Rose gave me. It was a bad idea yet for some reason it stuck with me.

I held my phones torch and began walking to the source of the sound and I didn't realise I had been completely out of sight from where Lira and Rose were.

"Is someone out there? Are you okay?" Stupid ,stupid ، stupid. I knew it was stupid of me to yell out like that and yet I did it.

There was no response and just as I was about to turn around a hand covered my mouth and pulled me against their hard chest.

My initial reaction was to yell yet no sound escaped me from the shock. I tried fighting the grip and moving the hand that held me yet it was to no avail as the person didn't budge. They pulled me against a tree and slammed me against it.