Tiny || KNJ

1

starry eyes ‐ Cigarettes after Sex

I walked down the road, hands in pockets, earphones blasting some songs from cigarettes after sex to comfort myself.

All of that seemed so already déjà vu.

I wanted some fresh air, after being told I wasn't what they expected me to be. Another door closed on me.

But what was I supposed to be?

I focused on the lights

The one of the few cars driving by next to me every couple of minutes, the lights of the streets lamp, the very few stores still open at this hour, and far at the end of the street, the bright neon lights of the enseigne of a 7eleven. Where I was actually heading too. I needed sugar. anything, the thought of alcohol did cross my head, but I don't drink, but the bitter taste of the drink, the drink that make you forget for one moment was appealing.

And there I was, considering taking the liquor. Having a staring contest with the drink, the tempting idea of forgetting this day winning, making my way to the cashier, putting it down firmly. As if the mere doupt would make me coward.

"Should you really be drinking this?, you seem scared of it." the cashier said, as I was handing him the money. My eyes went down toward the drink, and I shook my head. No, I should not be drinking this. He turned around, opening the fridge, taking out an apple juice, "Would you prefer this?" I liked apple juice, it always tasted sweet, and so, I nodded. He quickly changed my command, I paid and left.

I sat.

Next to the road, on the sidewalk.

Halfway through my apple juice, I decided to head to the park, the one were there was no one at this time of the day but maybe some couple seeking privacy to read the stars.

sitting on a swing, the squeaking of the chains drowning my thoughts, until there I could hear the swing next to me squeak too.

I paid no mind to it, who am I to decide who use those swings anyways.

"Those tears stained cheeks tells me you are not here to see stars"

I looked up, to the man on the swing next to mine. A soft understanding smile displayed on his lips.

The soft yellow glow from lamps around the park made his face seem warm and reassuring.

"Sorry, it's kinda creepy of me... I'm Namjoon, not sure if you knowing my name make it less creepy though" He said, slightly chuckling

"(m/n)" I breathed out.

"Nice to meet you (m/n)"

" I nodded and looked down, rocking a little bit my swing. "Tell me if I am overstepping, but are you alright?, you seem exhausted"

"I seem to be a lot of things today" I sadly smiled, remembering the cashier words,

you seem scared of it.

Or the words of who I thought was my bestfriend,

you seem to not be what I expected you to be.

A few tears made their way down my cheeks, I quickly wiped them away, sniffling. I gulped down the rest of my apple juice as a way to contain myself to cry again.

"Come on," Namjoon said, rising to his feet, not without the swing squeaking again, "let's go get ice cream, my treat." He smiled, revealing dimples.

"Not to be rude, but why? You don't know me"

"Well every friend once were strangers, don't you think?" He smiled again before quickly gesturing for me to get up with a motion with his head. I don't really have anything to lose exept a chance to get free ice cream.