A Soldier's Life

Chapter 23 - Just a Soldier

Y/n's POV:

How could everything change within one minute? One moment I'm about to kiss her and the next she is yelling at me and telling me to leave her alone. I know the paparazzi guy freaked her out, but why is she pushing me away?

Taking Lizzie's advice, I ran as fast as I could to catch up with Scarlett. I eventually caught up to her in the enclosed parking lot at the back of the club. I watched as she ran her hands through her hair, pacing around, muttering to herself. I don't know what to do. She was so angry at me a moment ago, but I need to make sure she's ok. I hated seeing her in such distress. 

I approached her carefully and made sure I kept my voice low and calm. "Scar, please talk to me." I almost plead. She turns and looks at me, her eyes filled with tears. "What, talk about what Y/n?" She snaps as she walks towards me, raising her voice. She looks angry but also scared.

"About this, about what just happened? Everything was going great and now you're upset, and I just want to make sure you're ok." I said, trying to fight back my own tears. "I was stupid to ever think this was the right thing to do." She mumbles to herself but loud enough for me to hear. I tentatively walk forward and place a hand on her shoulder, but she bats it away. "God, Y/n just stop touching me!" She yelled. I jumped back slightly at her reaction. Stunned into a silence.

"It's going to be all over the press tomorrow, that I'm gay and dating a woman. I've not even sorted out my own head, let alone have it across the news. Fuck! How is this going to affect my career." She starts to ramble and then the pacing follows. I know she's no longer talking to me, just out loud to herself. But her words are cutting me like a knife. But she's just scared, she needs to get this out. If it makes her feel better by yelling at me, then so be it. I just want her to know that I'm here.

She stops in front of me and stares for a moment. I don't dare say a word or even move. "I'm sorry Y/n but I can't do this." She says pointing her finger between us, sorrow in her eyes. "I can't see you again." She carried on, breaking my heart. "W-what do you mean?" I choke out, shocked by what she had said. Ok maybe she doesn't need me here.

"I can't have us together, plastered in the news!" She shouted with a bit of venom in her voice. I don't know why, but that causes me to snap a little. "So, you're ashamed of me is that it?" I retort with a huff, getting more frustrated by the minute. "What, no, it's not that" She argued back. "Then what is it? Is it because of Ava, because I've got a kid?" Anger is evident in my voice now as I'm trying to work out what's changed for not to want to be around me any more. 

"Of course not! I love Ava. You don't know what the press are like, they'll find every little thing about you, no matter how bad, and use it to sell stories." I chuckle in disbelief. "Oh, I get it, you're just ashamed of what happened with her father. You know what Scarlett, you had plenty of time to stop whatever this is since you found out. This is a pretty shitty way of doing it." I spat.

Her face turned at my words. Worry filed her eyes as she realised what I was insinuating. "Y/n, no I-I, God that isn't what I meant. It's just that you're..." She paused trying to think about how to phrase it. My heart thinks as I listen to her words, all that self-doubt I had slowly rising again.

"A nobody." I whispered. "Just a soldier." I added, tears falling down my face feeling completely defeated. We were stood feet apart from each other now. Any sign of a calm conversation gone, any signs of salvaging even a friendship from this becoming slimmer by the moment. The silence was deafening, but I would take that over what was to come. 

"It wouldn't work, the reputation of dating a soldier could do too much damage to my career." She finally admitted. Wait she did not just say that? "Right, because being in the Military is such a shameful thing. Please enlighten me as to what is so bad about us?" I scoffed, my voice laced full of sarcasm.