House of Winter

Chapter 27, Part 2

The next day was no better. Doctor Hart insisted that Lumi would have to go and spend the day meditating, instead of hiding in the library again.

"They're not even teaching me more about quelling," Lumi complained. "Meditation isn't going to do anything."

Tom agreed with her, but Doctor Hart was firm. "You are here to be instructed by the quellers. It is your duty, Lumi."

"What do you know about my duty?" Lumi said, and she was surprised at the tone of voice she took. She immediately wanted to apologise, but Doctor Hart didn't let her.

"I was given firm instructions by your grandmother to protect you in this, Lumiko," Doctor Hart said, in a firm voice. "You are no princess of mine. But I owe your grandmother my life and more."

Lumi dragged herself to the ballroom at the top of the pyramid, where Armo and Eero were already waiting for her.

"This is your second attempt at a day of silent meditation, solitude and fasting," Eero told her. "You must remove yourself from the worldly things in order to understand the depths of your emotions further. Stay stronger this time, Lumikki."

Lumi wanted to argue with them, but instead she nodded solemnly, and allowed herself to glare at them as the two brothers left the hall.

She sat down on the single cushion they had left for her and closed her eyes to focus on her breathing. It was all she could do to count her own breaths, but she would constantly get distracted and lose count. The only thing she could do was keep counting.

It was far harder than it had been yesterday, but now Lumi felt as if she couldn't even run to the library to seek solace with Tom and Doctor Hart, because she knew Hart would send her back.

But she couldn't sit still for hours. So she paced the length of the hall, listening to the way her bare feet padded on the stone floor. She held out her palms, wanting fire to erupt there, but her magic was as good as useless. She kept pacing, and then when she was exhausted by pacing, she resumed her seat on the cushion.

Lumi closed her eyes and counted her breaths. She felt herself drifting into unconscious, even though she was still sitting upright. Her mind seemed to dance between surreal points. She was aware of the dreamlike thoughts, and yet she couldn't pull herself out of them.

She remembered the snow-covered mountains of Sredsibirsk, where she had spent her childhood. She remembered Tai burning her back. And suddenly, from the depths of her memories, she remembered her grandmother applying ointment to the burn.

Empress Kiyo had known that Tai had burned her. She had known. But she hadn't protected Lumi from Tai's bullying or abuse. She had allowed it to happen. When Lumi had arrived back in Singtsu after the events at the Midwinter Championship, she had expected her grandmother to believe her and punish Tai, but Grandmother Kiyo had remained stoic.

But Kiyo had sent her tiger off to fetch Doctor Hart, to take Lumi away.

Was this all the power Kiyo had? She was an Empress, but in name only, until the twins turned eighteen. And the councillors had power, and they clearly wanted Tai in power. Maybe this was all Kiyo could do... to quietly send Lumi away in the middle of the night, with a trusted friend.

It wasn't enough. But suddenly it was a relief to her to know that Empress Kiyo had always known. She hadn't turned a blind eye - she had tried to protect Lumi where she could, in small ways that proved that she loved her granddaughter, despite how cold and indifferent she seemed at times.

Lumi had always found her grandmother an icy woman. She had always adored the love of her aunt. But now Lumi wasn't sure. Did Auntie V love her, or had it always been a false show of affection, while she cared for her own ambitions?