~𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗨𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀~

𝑺1 𝑬2: 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒖𝒑 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒔

Previously on Keeping up with the Lingards... 

"Come on Jess, don't make me tickle your crusty feet." 

"You could be choking on something else instead." 

"The only things I need protection against is pregnancy, Manchester United fans and your snoring." 

***

08:56 AM

Cheshire, England 

📍Castle Lingard 

"Babe?" 

"Hm?" 

"Why is there a camera in my face at god knows what time in the morning?" 

Jesse smiled down at his wife and shrugged. "Because I felt like it," he responded. "And also because the camera crew are gonna be running a bit behind, so I thought I'd help them." 

"By waking me up this early?" 

"Oh, please. If anything, I did you a favour," Jesse huffed. "Aren't you meant to be doing some girl day thingie with Mankya?" 

Anisha raised an eyebrow. "Really?" 

"My bad. It's Mustya, right? Or-" 

"What is your problem with my best friend?" the girl giggled, throwing a pillow at him. "I get on perfectly with Marcus. Just be more like me." 

Jesse rolled his eyes. "You are so self centred," he remarked, turning his phone off and collapsing on the bed next to his wife. "And I don't hate Malia - I just strongly dislike her. And I know the feeling is mutual, which is fine by me." 

"Is that because she caught a mug of you at the wedding?"

Jesse frowned. "We hired her photography company to take memories. Not mugs."

Anisha shrugged. "Doesn't bother me." 

Her husband groaned dramatically and flopped on the bed beside her. "Jude's absolutely head over heels in love with her."

"Honestly though. Remember when he asked you for advice?" 

Anisha shook her head. "I get you're his mate and all, but you are the worst sideman I've ever seen." 

"Wot?!" 

"Those dusty pickup lines you used on me are the ones you gave to poor Jude," Anisha scolded. "You just set him up for failure." 

"My pickup lines are fucking sexy, actually."

"Go on then," Anisha teased. "Show me." 

Jesse cleared his throat before he began. 

"Are you from Africa?"

"Yeah, why?" 

"Because African love you." 

Anisha pulled a face of confusion at her husband. "The flip?" 

"You know? African sounds like 'I fricken'? I fricken love you? No?" 

The girl shook her head. 

"Okay, then let me try again," said Jesse. "Oh, I think you'll remember this." 

"Oh please no-" 

"Do you like pizza? Cause I want a pizza dat ass." 

His wife began creasing up, wriggling around in laughter. 

"Where the hell did you find these?" she wheezed.

Her man scratched the back of his head. "I just searched up Black Pickup Lines and hoped for the best," he replied with a nervous chuckle. 

"I swear you are just something else." 

***

12:30 PM

Manchester, England 

📍Malia's "Mansion"

"You and Jesse are crazy to believe Jude and I would make it." 

The two girls were sitting with their legs crossed, on the floor of Malia's room. 

Their passion fruit face masks were taking a while to dry, so they used that time to engage in conservation. 

And of course, the cameras picked up on it all. 

Anisha raised an eyebrow. "He left you on read again, didn't he?"

Malia sighed and nodded. "I don't know. It just seems like we go two steps ahead, then two steps behind again. I know we like each other, but its been, like, a week. He's only had one game between now and last Wednesday, and it's Saturday now."

Her friend shook her head. "I'm sure he means well," she responded. "At least you have feelings, you know?"

"Yeah, definitely."

***

"I guess Jesse is romantic when he wants to," Anisha mused. "But most of the time he's a joker, and I love that about him." 

Malia scrunched up her face. "He's still a bit fishy in my opinion." 

"Oh come on, what is it with you two and not getting along? You bicker like siblings."

"He criticised my art. I've styled it to perfection and I'm not even 20 yet." 

Her friend shrugged and started picking at her mask. "I think it's dry now. What's next on the agenda?" 

Anisha's stomach, in that moment of time, chose to rumble dangerously loud, causing Malia to raise an eyebrow. 

"Jesus Christ, you're hungry!" 

"Oh whatever. Are we getting food or not?"