Gangs and Roses

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

There are some days, probably once or twice during the month, where I just want to have some girl time. Normally, I would take a trip to the High Street and dip myself into some retail therapy to keep me sane. Today, I wanted to hang-out with other women. I didn't just want it to be me, myself and I. I didn't want to have to drag one of the lads to the cinema to watch a chick flick. I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted girl-time. Is that too much to ask?  

Even though I already had enough clothes for winter, a typical clothing boutique was where I found myself on Saturday afternoon, riding my way through racks and racks of clothes, surrounding myself with feminine things; telling myself that I was no - I was not - going to turn into one of those tomboys who had spent so much time around guys, she'd basically become one. For a Saturday afternoon, I was surprised that the shop was empty.  

I didn't need anything but I almost always ended by buying something. I found myself out of the New Year sales and to the rack of expensive dresses; the kind that had sequins dotted all over them, that trailed along the floor, red carpet kind of dresses. I didn't have very many. I had my little black one (I called it my slut dress, for parties mostly) and a summery one. But summer was most definitely not just round the corner. It was only mid-January. It would be months before the first signs of spring would begin to show.  

Maybe it was my need for being girly that sent me to the dresses. I found a red one that went right to the floor, covering my ankles even in heels. It had one shoulder and a little slit going up the right leg. I took it to the changing rooms and tried it on. Foraging around my bag, I found a tube of red lipstick from Top Shop. I let my hair down, ruffling it a little to give it an edge.  

I came out, not really expecting much because I was just having fun. I had to hold the dress up a little because it was dragging along the ground. I felt the glittery material beneath my fingers as I put a hand on my hip. At the far end of the changing rooms, there was a body-length mirror, a definite improvement from the tiny ones in the cubicles. I walked over, seeing myself in the reflection. I looked quite good. 

Turning in it, checking the back to see if it made my bum look big, I smiled into the mirror. I didn't like making the duck-face like most teens made when they were looking at themselves. I didn't like my smile (who did?) but Will said that he loved it, especially when I laughed. Of course he would say that. But it lifted my self-esteem nonetheless. So I smiled, showing all my pearly white teeth. I remembered when I used to have braces, the horrible train tracks and then an annoying retainer for two years after. It had been worth it. Now I had straight, white teeth (hopefully) for life.  

"Wowza!"  

At the outburst, (which definitely didn't come from my own mouth) I turned from the mirror to a young woman standing behind me. She had blonde hair in a high-ponytail, square glasses sitting at the end of her nose. She had a nametag just above her left breast so she worked in the shop. I couldn't read it from where I was standing as she was more than a couple of metres away. 

"Pardon?" I was wondering whether I'd heard right.  

"Wowza!" the women repeated, smiling broadly. She came over, looking at me in the dress. "You look so pretty!" 

"Thank-you." I blushed, looking away. My legs slowly crossed over one another. Oh dear.  

"Are you going to buy it?"  

I chuckled. "Like I could afford a dress like this." That wasn't strictly true. But it wasn't my money so there was no point even dreaming what I could do with it. Besides, my list would be endless.  

"How come you're trying it on?" She didn't sound ignorant or obnoxious about it. She sounded genuinely curious.  

"I guess." I shrugged. "I guess I wanted to be feminine for once."