✦ Valorant Oneshots

Red - Jett x GN!reader (Angst)

PLOT : you can't sleep without her and red bad idk
REQUESTED BY : kiy0shousehold
STARTED: March 13th

why do you all chose to hurt yourselves

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It was a cold night. It was pouring rain outside, thumping onto the roof of your room. You used to love these nights, but only with her. You two would cuddle up in the blankets, have hot coco while watching a movie. You grabbed the blankets a bit tight and softly shut your eyes, recalling these memories hurt. Everything you used to love only hurts you twice as hard now. Both you and Jett would love to run and race around the protocol, now you only walk, not wanting to be reminded of those memories. You've even started avoiding Neon, she resembled Jett in so many ways. They were both liked blue, were fast, short, positive, trusting, both like a golden retriever. You feel often bad for avoiding her but if you didn't you were sure you would burst out in tears.

You even came to hate birds. You could only think of Jett and how everyone called her a 'hawk' or a 'sparrow'. You used to love birds, adored them in fact. You always told Jett you were gonna get one when this protocol thing was over and name it June, resembling Jett's real name, Joon-Hee. You weren't sure you could do that anymore. Every bird you see reminded you of what everyone said about Jett. "They won't be able to catch such a fast hawk in the sky." "A small little sparrow, impossible to hit." "Birds aren't easy to catch." It sounded like Jett would never be caught or even wounded, it comforted you thinking nothing could happen to her.

The thing you're hate most now, the color red. It was everywhere, so much of it everywhere, it was the only reason Jett was gone. Too much red, all from Jett, the only reason. Red. Red. Red. All because of some dumb color pouring made Jett out of your reach forever.

The sound of thunder suddenly came making your eyes shoot open and your body slightly flinches. You sat up and hugged your pillow, 'Jett would've comforted me, embraced me in her arms, and told me to fall back asleep.' You started to quietly sob, the tears dripping onto your pillow. You don't know what to die anymore without Jett. You wanted nothing more but to live your life with her but she's gone. You're afraid of making new attachments now, if someone like Jett could be gone because of the battle field, who knows what's could happen if it was someone else.

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Red. Everything was red. Jett was dying in front of you, color stained floor and walls. Red. "Joon? Joon please. You hear me right..? Hold on a little longer dear please." Her eyes were barely open, she wanted to live but didn't know if she could. She wanted to speak but ended up violently coughing bringing blood out too. "Don't speak. Wait until you can feel better." Jett shook her head and put her hand on your face. Cold. Pale. Lack of red. She started coughing again but still forcing herself to speak, "[Y/n], we both know I won't be feeling better in this universe.." Hot tears were flowing down your face at this point. "Stop it. You're gonna make it. Sage will be able to treat you soon Jett, just please.. hold on for me.."

It was quiet, both of you unsure of what to do, Jett opened her mouth, "No. Don't speak Joon-Hee. Save your strength, please." Jett didn't listen, she never did, "I love you [Y/n], I always will. Don't forget that when I'm gone. Find someone great for you and thank you for always being there for me." Jett had a weak smile, making you even more tearful. "Jett please, use your strength for surviving not talking! You won't leave me.. you can't... I have so much I want to do with you, so much to tell you, so much more time to spend with you." You wiped a few tears away, still seeing Jett smiling.

"Same here 여보 but sometimes, you have to learn to let go of the things you love, so they can stop hurting, so you can stop hurting. So you could both move on otherwise the pain will last longer the more you hold on. The more pain you'll feel when you have to let go." You started to cry even harder, audible noises, "Jett.." She was hurt, badly, practically dead already but you can't let go, you couldn't. Her little poem, so much meaning that you could understand but couldn't accept. You had to though, it's fate.

"I'm sorry Jett, I couldn't save you." She used the last bit of her strength to sit up and kissed your forehead. "You saved me in more ways you'd ever know." She stopped trying to hold herself up, body laying on you. "I love you [Y/n], I won't know if you will but promise me you won't let me hold you back." With that, Jett was gone. You looked around and saw red again. Red on you now too. "I love you too Joon.. I promise I won't." You hugged her cold body before crying more.

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Such a horrible memory, still fresh in your mind. "Won't let me hold you back.." You were repeating her words. "Both move on..." You sat up in your bed, "She wanted me to be happy.. find someone better, but I can't." You flopped back down, "Nobody could be better than you Jett.. I can't be happy."

"I can't keep the promise."

—

i am die it's 1am

FINISHED : March 15th
WORD COUNT : 959