A Court of Heart and Fealty | Rhysand

Chapter 2: A Rose is but a Rose

Chapter 2: A Rose is but a Rose

"Galadriel."

Her chest crushed under the relief that flooded from her ears to hear her true name spoken again. it had been months. A year, nearly. Azriel was the only person alive who knew of it and his visits became her moments of remembrance. "Azriel," she breathed back, bowing her head in greeting. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you here."

His head moved in a half-nod, hazel eyes examining her form as they did every time he first sees her again. "I must say the same," he muttered, a frown etching into his otherwise even forehead. "I received a report that the handmaiden of the Lady of the Autumn was hunted down and slaughtered. I thought they killed you."

Beron did not want his court to believe he let a handmaiden slip from his grasp then. "There was an incident." Her voice remained low as it always did around him, always aware of prying ears. Azriel's skin tightened. "My identity and stationing were not revealed, it was something else. But I cannot return to the Autumn Court. Helion has offered me sanctuary here. You already know of our relations."

He swallowed, voice flat and low when he asked, "What happened?" 

Galadriel rolled her lips inwards. The story would take revealing secrets that she had promised never to utter. But those promises had been to Amoise and Helion. Azriel was above them and his orders were above all. As his spy, as she had been for two hundred years, it was him that she answered to. Her words started slow. "Helion and the Lady of the Autumn Court had a strong intimate affair—"

"Why didn't I know of this?"

"I didn't think court affairs would be of interest to you," she answered candidly. "If it were of any importance I would have brought it up but it was not and they deserved that privacy." Azriel nodded stiffly in acceptance and to urge her to continue talking. "Beron grew suspicious a few years, so they kept their distance but communicated through letters every few months. She trusted me to deliver and receive them from him, meeting near the border of the Autumn Court. Beron caught me with a letter just a month ago and demanded to see it. He thought I had been snooping and stolen it, but I couldn't hand it over. I ran and destroyed it."

"You should have." His arms were now firmly folded over his chest, wings tucked in tight and disapproval seeped through his eyes towards her in harsh waves that sent guilt racking through her stomach. She had put her post at risk. Lost the delicacy and closeness to the Autumn Court that came with being the handmaiden of the Lady. "Their affair was not your responsibility."

"I have been their friend for nearly two hundred years," she murmured.

"That was not your job."

"Yes it was!" she hissed. "You asked me to remain close so I did. Beron is a cruel man and I feared for Amoise's life if he had the confirmation he wanted. No one, not even Helion knows who I am, and nobody knows that I even know your name. I am safe in the way you need me to be—undetected."

"But you are detected." The disapproval had morphed into something different, but just as hard to see. The muscles of his jaw rippled, fingers clenching at his sides. Detection is far past the line of failure. Failure is not receiving the information needed, detection is grounds for death in some courts' network of spies. "Not as Galadriel but you can no longer be Sahra which has been a useful position for the both of us until now. Beron believes you a spy, so it is only your service to me that remains unknown."

Her shoulders loosened, weight moving from foot to foot. "What does that mean for me?" Azriel remained silent and somehow that was far worse than reprimands of frustration and disapproval. Gritting her teeth, she added, "I'm sorry." She had put her friendship with the Lady of Autumn above her duties. There was no way for her to return to the Autumn Court where he needed her.