Misery

2. 𝚅𝙾𝙸𝙲𝙴

CESSIER'S POV

"So happy, already? Wait till the others bite the dust. Aww, how unfortunate ! That gruesome smile on your face is gonna vanish forever."

I panicked, gasping - why now? A sharp pain trailed around my head along with the fuzzy image of a bright flash of light as if I was hit with an electric shock. I sat still, it wasn't the feeling that bothered me, I was used to this. However, what bugged the living crap out of me were her words - 'Wait till the others bite the dust''? More deaths? Serial killing...already guessed so.

I threw my fists up in the air punching my invisible enemy, then threw a fist at myself for the enemy resided within me, unharmed and free. It would change nothing anyway except for the fact I punched myself a little too hard and it did actually hurt now.

The voice in my head, it has been there since forever. It was congenital. When I was a little kid I thought it was natural. How was I to know that every other kid didn't have a voice living inside their head making their lives horrifying? I believed everyone possessed it,until the day I told my mother.

She stared at me as if I were a stranger, didn't belong there,a wicked monster. She seemed to know something about it, but wouldn't answer
if I ever asked her.She called dad to inform him about the situation - that his daughter apparently hears the voice of a young lady in her mind who is always up for atrocious thoughts which turn into reality. It was as if having access to the future, just that nothing delightful or hopeful ever happened in 'that' future. Having a fate bounded by deaths, blood and tears. There was no way to change that fate, no way to change the future,even if I tried to nothing would change. So yes , I knew about my brother's death - months before the murder occured. I also knew that my childhood friend was going to drown to death the day she would turn twelve, I remember trying to save her but I couldn't. I knew that mom hated me to death long before she first verbalized her thoughts. Knew that they were going to kill me so I ran away...

That's how it has always been like. I refer to the voice in my head as the 'bitchy error' - suitable, it perfectly fits her personality. What disappoints me to a greater extent is the fact that she had more of a personality than I could ever have.

Further more, I had no idea what it was, a spirit? a demon? a not-so-angelic guardian angel? I don't know. Nonetheless, for me she was nothing but a shitty supernatural being, yes, a demon indeed. God must've mistook my mind for hell and that's why she's in there.

I made out what her words meant when I was four prior to that all I ever heard was her devilish laughter and her spine-chilling whispers of words like 'cursed' 'die' 'hate', these slowly turned into sentences, 'You are cursed', 'Everybody hates you sweetheart, why not just die?' 'You'll regret this life for sure, take my advice...' and these tormented me for the rest of my childhood.

I used to get nightmares and thought I would get over them soon. But the nightmares never ceased, they clung onto my soul becoming a part of me like a birthmark. It was the same all the time, blood spattering all around and blurred faces pleading for their lives.

I promised myself to never speak of her to any other human being, I was already hated by my parents enough to want anymore of that bullshit. My brother however, he didn't treat me like a monster nor was he scared of me. Although my memories of him are vague, one thing I know for sure is that I admired him, he was the one who taught me what happiness felt like. Happiness, the feeling was now long gone.

My thoughts and her voice reverberating in my head were subdued by the abrubt ringing of my phone. I was glad and thankful for a phone call for the first time in my life. Getting myself together I picked up the phone.