Chapter 10

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oh my god it has been like 3 years... have i completely forgotten the plot of this story? yes. but ill still try my best because i feel bad for the people i left to die waiting for an update !! (also, imo the plot was already confusing and out of place)

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yamagata's pov 

        The moment I read that message something inside of me crumbled. Sure, I had no idea what or who that sicko could've been talking about, but it sure did leave a bad taste in my mouth. Any relief or relaxation I had felt up until now completely vanished. I sat in the dark shadows of my room, trying to comprehend what was going on. What the hell was he talking about? What had he seen? Suddenly, I felt my guts clench. What if it had something to do with Kawanishi? What if he had seen me with him? My heart ached as I thought about the possibilities, and in every single one, none of them ended good, or at least one where no one ended up hurt. 

        But when I really think about it there was never a moment when me and Kawanishi were completely alone, right?? Every time we're out in public, the whole team was with us, or at least the third years were. Maybe this is just a misunderstanding, and there isn't really that big that he had actually seen and he was just drunk texting? Besides, hadn't he already confronted me earlier for being seemingly gay? I shuddered at the thought of that memory. I took a deep breath in and laid my head down, there was really nothing I could do, the only thing I'm capable of doing right now is just to sit and wait, and neither of those options helped me at all feel better.

          As I slightly struggled to drift off into slumber, the thought of kawanishi help me relax. I could only hold myself together and wait until I see him again. At the end of the day, as much as I love all my friends and teammates, he's the only one who can take me away from reality, and towards peace. Even though the chances of him liking me back are scarce, it never means it's impossible, right? But too bad it's the weekends, I have to wait until Monday in order to see him again. Unless... I could technically plan a random hang out session with me and him, and of course a few of the other third years, since it would be way too weird and risky for us to be alone, especially considering the message I just received from my dad, if I could even call that bastard one. Whatever, I need to start pushing that man away from my life, and instead pushing another man into it. I don't care how long it has to take, or how much pain I have to go through in order for it to happen. Matter of fact, that psychopath of a dad could be imprisoned for all I care. I will do anything to make sure it happens, because at the end of the day, it's only him who never looked away from me, so I'll make sure I never look away from him.

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meanwhile with kawanishi

        Today seemed fairly okay, we were all together and everyone was having fun, everyone except Yamagata... it was all so strange. And this time, I knew it was in just me who noticed it. Most of us could feel something strange coming from him. His tone, his voice, his energy, all of it! All of it was out of order, just completely different. Yamagata was usually the most energetic one atleast, after Tendou. He wasn't even as observant as usual. He was always the first one to point out any awkwardness or tension between any of us, and would always do his best to fix it. My heartaches knowing that I couldn't help fix whatever was bothering him. It was so obvious that it wasn't just his dad's friends and their kids. If there even were any kids in his room, he would have just played around with them, he loved kids, for God's sake! 

        Then, a sudden realization hits me. I don't know Yamagata as much as I assumed, or at least I hoped to know, about him. Even though he was extremely talkative, he never mentioned anything personal. I mean sure, we don't expect to know every detail in his life, but we don't even know any simple facts about him. We don't know if he has any siblings, if he preferred his dad or his mom, we don't even know if he has any pets! It hurt me knowing that I barely knew anything about the man I love the most. I want to be patient and I want to wait for him, but I'm worried that if I wait too long, there won't be a wait to wait.

        I slowly lay down and close my eyes. I can only worry so much about Yamagata. But, as much as I hate it, if waiting is the way to help him open up, then I'll be willing to wait years. Just thinking about him happy keeps me alive. He was able to push himself out the way so other people could feel like they had a way. He always put others before himself. And no matter what type of day he went through, he never had any sort of attitude, or even ever lashed out on us. Even though I was younger than him, he still treated me the same and never even dared to walk over me. Every time he spoke to me with my first name, I would always have a feeling that maybe my feelings weren't so one sided. Well, at least one can hope right? Because the hope I have for him, for us, goes beyond measure, and I'll make sure that nothing comes to break that hope apart.

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