After the End: Book 4

2. Disconnected

Louis POV

The morning after dropping everyone off, I'd expected to wake up alone. That had been the original plan anyways. For a moment, I couldn't remember arriving home. I just remembered the way I'd envisioned my empty flat the entire drive, and I had woken up with that same nervous dread. Then I felt the bed shift beside me, and I remembered her.

Becca had stayed the night. I'd called her, and we'd had the very intense and heated conversation that apparently confirmed that we were in a relationship, and then we'd gone back up to my flat. Some things had happened, and I'd let her stay the night.

Nobody had stayed the night with me in my own home since Naomi. When we'd just met, she stayed all the time until she'd officially moved in. Harry was busy withdrawing in the other room back then, so things had always been careful and edgy while I maintained him alongside maintaining my relationship.

This wasn't like that. Becca was here just for me and everyone was gone. I was just waking up to a woman in my bed. My woman... my girlfriend, actually. I had a girlfriend. I couldn't wrap my head around that fact. It felt foreign somehow after over a year of messy and confusing flirtations and stolen moments. It felt weird after my last relationship had concluded with the addition of a baby and then ridiculous and prolonged heartbreak. There was a point where I just hadn't been able to envision anything else.

Normally in the few times on occasion that we had previously cohabitated, Becca woke up before me. When I opened my eyes Tuesday morning, she was still fast asleep. I hadn't ever seen her asleep before. Her face looked less hardened and stoic. Her features were softer.

It was rather early. I was used to waking up on Oliver's schedule and in his absence, I just couldn't maintain rest. It was only 6 am, but I slipped out from under the covers anyways.

I found myself shirtless. I still had sweats covering my legs, but I didn't have a shirt on. I never slept like that, at least not since before Oliver was born. The few times I'd slept with Becca before, I'd woken up completely naked, but since the previous night hadn't included wine for once, I'd at least remembered to return to my pants before bed. With that acknowledgment, I glanced back to the sleeping form of Becca curled under the sheets and then made my way out of the room and down the hall.

The laundry room had an expanse of clothes stacked up in the basket on top of the dryer. Until the previous day when I'd released most of his clothing back to him, Harry's laundry had taken up the bulk of the space. There were still some shirts left, so I grabbed a plain white tshirt that was his, and pulled it over my head.

I checked my phone for the first time that morning to see if Phoebe had left me any updates during the night. There was nothing new since midnight, when she'd informed me that he was falling asleep on the sofa. I was thankful he was finding rest. I'd worried about his sleeping issues. Before that, their day had largely consisted of watching television, bickering and Harry threatening to leave. He'd only threatened. He hadn't actually left.

Not being able to be there to watch him myself was maddening. Harry didn't want me there. I knew that much to be a fact. If this was going to work, I couldn't be the one there reigning him in. He'd only fight harder.

I sent Phoebe a text asking if Naomi had done okay with the groceries she dropped off after I'd already left Monday morning and then put my phone back in my pocket. On my way back down the hall I instinctively peeked my head into Oliver's bedroom before remembering he wasn't there. The thought made my chest feel tight. I hated that he was gone.

After closing his door, I headed down to the balcony to get some fresh air while I waited for Becca to get up. We had a rather light day planned. We had a meeting with the marketing team that could last a long time, but aside from that I wanted to catch up on some little projects. I wondered if I had time to drive to Doncaster and back to see Oliver and Daisy. I had planned on coming back a few times throughout the week anyways. Was it too soon to go back? It had only been a night, but I already missed my son so much. Being away from him made me feel uneasy.