After the End: Book 4

79. Solving Issues and Loose Ends

Louis POV

I was definitely in love with Becca. Of that much, I was very suddenly certain. It would be selfish of me not to love her really, because I was almost sure she was in love with me. There was no other way to explain why she was currently wandering a grass field with me at 1 in the morning. She was right there holding up a flashlight beam from her phone to illuminate the ground infront of us.

We'd been laying in bed when I thought to ask her. I was thinking about the way my Monday had gone. Melvin had called more than once, and I'd ignored him. I'd quit, but he was under the impression I'd be coming to my senses. He was convinced I'd be running back. He was definitely wrong. I hadn't even begun to start grasping what I'd lost yet, but I was still sure of that. In addition to the Melvin issues, there was the phone call I'd had with Félicité. I learned she was also not speaking to our father. It had been a sudden change, but he'd lost his temper with her shortly after his discussion with me. I was getting the impression he wouldn't be around much longer. The real issue dominating my mind wasn't actually family issues or unemployment. It was Cory.

I was to be picking her up from rehab the following day and I had full evidence of experience to tell me she still wasn't safe at home. She wouldn't be safe with someone like Ash looming in her life. I didn't even feel safe knowing he existed. I'd learned overnight that he was now also living in my nightmares. It was genuinely making me hesitant to go to sleep again. I felt crazy.

Becca had been by my side for most of the day, completely unquestioning. She talked about calm mundane things, like how she'd fared with her mum and her grandmother. When the issue came to my mind in full clarity she was in bed next to me, and as if she could read my thoughts, she'd asked me what was on my mind. I'd rolled over to face her and asked her how she felt about going with me to run a few errands.

She looked skeptical. She'd asked if I was okay. I said I would be if we finished the errands. Oliver was down at Harry's place with Naomi anyways and the girls were asleep. Becca was consistently willing to indulge me, so the two of us threw on sweatshirts over pajama pants and we were on our way.

Now we were in a grass field wandering in the dark, and Becca was holding a flashlight. She had no idea what we were looking for.

It took us nearly an hour to find it. The ground was littered in small treasures. In the illumination of the flashlight we saw aluminum cans, cigarette butts, food wrappers, and what looked like  ripped up magazine pages everywhere. When the beam fell upon the nose of the cool black metal, we both paused and stared at it in the silence for a long moment.

I thought I saw some resignation fall into her features, like she knew that the gun was what we'd been looking for without having to ask me. I watched the wheels turn in her mind, and she smiled and then frowned at whatever scenario her brain conjured. Finally, she took a deep breath and leaned down, boldly picking it up out of the grass. She held it out to me expectantly.  In the near darkness, she looked like a character in an action movie with the weapon held so confidently in her hand.

"Hey Louis," she said casually. "I think I found your gun."

"It's not my gun," I assured her quickly. I still accepted it from her outstretched hand.

"Can you tell me whose gun it is?" She asked sweetly. She said it like it was an amusing fun fact she'd like to know, and not something wholly serious. I couldn't imagine where she mustered the full scale acceptance from. It was kind of incredible.

"His name is Ash. He's the one that keeps breaking Harry's face apart," I answered truthfully.

I started back in the direction of her car parked in the deserted gravel lot infront of Cory's house. Becca followed, notably walking on the side of me that wasn't wielding the weapon. She held my hand. The juxtaposition felt close to overwhelming and I almost laughed.