Operation FanMail

One - An Explanation Of Sorts

The ceiling was clean and white. It shone dazzlingly brightly on Barnacles' retinas when he blinked his eyes blearily open. The first thing he noted was that he felt oddly refreshed, more refreshed than he had felt for a long time. But where was he? His bedroom ceiling wasn't this white, and hadn't he passed out on his bedroom floor?

Maybe he was dreaming. That was a fairly logical answer. Maybe he had never woken up before, and even passing out was all a dream. And when he woke up again, he'd be back in his bed, ready to start another busy day.

He closed his eyes, ready to sleep again - or wake up - or whatever. Then -

"Hello," said a voice close to his ear. A brief hesitation, then - "I'm Izzy. Would you like some cookies?"

Definitely not dreaming then. Drat.

Barnacles sat up very quickly, his eyes shooting open as he stared around him. He was lying on a fairly comfortable cream sofa, his head propped up by the armrest. The room was large and spacious, with similar chairs and sofas dotted around. There were also a fair few beanbags on the floor. There appeared to be a glass door leading to a balcony, through which Barnacles could only see sky from his current position. On the other side there was a small kitchen and a door leading to a small bathroom. All the Octonauts were in the room, which was definitely a good thing. They were all either already awake or beginning to sit up, looking around in confusion at their unfamiliar surroundings. All the Vegimals were also there, running around waking everyone else up properly. Wherever they were, it was definitely not the Octopod.

The owner of the voice was a smiling teenage girl sitting cross-legged on a purple beanbag, with blond hair tied back in a high ponytail and bright blue eyes. She wore a black t-shirt with an image of a purple cross-eyed owl* on it and dark blue jeans. (*Something I now wish I owned) A large black folder rested on her lap. She was also looking directly at Barnacles, her expression expectant. "Cookies," she repeated slowly after a moment of waiting. "Would you like?" She spoke with a distinctly English accent.

"Um -" Barnacles replied, fairly eloquently, he thought, under the circumstances.

The girl rolled her eyes, getting up from her perch on the beanbag and setting the plate down on the table that Barnacles sat next to. "Fine, I'll leave the cookies here for later. Everyone seems to be a little busy staring at me blankly at the moment."

All of the Octonauts were sitting or lying on various items of furniture placed in a crooked sort of circle. Peso was in a giant armchair that seemed to engulf his tiny body, being roused by Codish. Dashi was already blinking herself awake on a beanbag. Tweak was on a similar beanbag and Shellington shared a large sofa with Professor Inkling. Kwazii was closest to Barnacles. "Is everyone okay?" Barnacles asked first, determined to check his crew's welfare before anything else. There was various affirmatives around the room, and Barnacles was satisfied at least that no one appeared injured. Now to turn his attention to the real issue.

"Who are you?" Barnacles asked finally to the girl who had been waiting patiently for him to finish checking his crew.

"I'm Izzy," replied the girl, doing a little theatrical bow in the middle of the room. "You can call me Iz, or Iggy, or Isobel, or Owly, or whatever you want. Your host and questioner, at your service."

Barnacles looked over at Kwazii, who was draped across a beanbag, having just regained consciousness. Kwazii shrugged, apparently at a loss for words.

"- Host?" the Captain repeated in confusion. This girl made no sense.

Luckily, Izzy seemed to realise that too. "Sorry, I know you're all kind of disoriented at the moment. The sleeping drugs we gave you all were completely harmless, don't worry, and they leave no lasting effects. They actually leave you feeling quite refreshed and alert, actually, so they're great!"

"Sleeping drugs?" Barnacles enquired.

Izzy rolled her eyes again, flopping back down on the vacated beanbag and reassuming her previous position. "Why are the smart ones always the ones that repeat everything you say? Yes, we drugged you to get you here, just to make sure you didn't wake up on the journey. It maybe wouldn't have been necessary, but someone -" Here she gave a pointed look at Barnacles. "Was awake when we administered the drugs."

"Why did you bring us here?" Kwazii asked, sitting up on his blue beanbag.

Instead of answering his question, Izzy clapped her hands together and made some sort of strange noise that resembled a 'squeee'. Kwazii raised his eyebrows, and it was Barnacles' turn to shrug helplessly.

Izzy smiled wider. "Sorry, it's just that - you're all actually here! And I'm standing - well, sitting - talking to you, and you're all so awesome!"

"Er - thank you?" Barnacles tried.

"I'm a fangirl, that's all," Izzy explained, which wasn't really much of an explanation at all. "Anyway... I brought you here because we'd like you all to answer a few questions. Fanmail, of a sort."

"And you had to drag us here instead of leaving us in the Octopod because -" Tweak prompted.

The girl looked very happy now. "Oh my God it's you, Tweak! I am the ultimate fan of you! And I love your accent! And you're an engineer! Which makes you automatically awesome in my opinion. Not that you weren't before. Sorry, I'm rambling. Well, not sorry, but - anyway." Tweak looked stunned and speechless, so Izzy continued on quickly. "I took y'all here because it's awesome here. And it's more dramatic, somehow. Like when the main characters get taken to a completely new place by the villains to be questioned. Except I'm totally not a villain! And this is a good sort of questioning, honest!"

Barnacles couldn't keep up. "So - we're here because you want to question us?"

"Yes," Izzy replied patiently. "Some people want to know more about you guys, and since I have the ultimate powers to manipulate the universe, I brought you here so we can have some fun answering those questions!"

"Fun," the Captain repeated slightly sceptically.

Izzy nodded. "Yes. Fun, I promise."

"What harm can it do, Captain?" Dashi asked. "It's only fanmail, it can't be too bad."

Inkling didn't look so sure. "Captain, we're -"

"Going to be here for quite a while otherwise," completed Izzy cheerfully, cutting Inkling off. "Sorry, by the way, Professor. I don't mean to be ominous or anything, but I have some friends who would quite like to have their questions answered, and I have been looking forward to this moment for quite a long time."

The Captain looked around at his crew, noting everyone's expressions and their evident feelings on the matter before making a conscious decision. "Okay - we'll stay. But just for a few questions, that's all."

Izzy grinned widely. "You won't regret this."

"I really hope not," Barnacles murmured in apprehension, dropping his head and suddenly finding something very interesting to stare at on the carpet in order to try and get his head straight.

The girl took charge again. "Okay, so we will be questioning one person at a time. Coincidentally, the first questionee is Captain Barnacles!"

Barnacles looked up again sharply. "Me? Why me?"

"For so many extremely complicated reasons that I won't bother going into," Izzy replied cheerfully. "Also because you're the obvious choice. You know, being the Captain and all."

Barnacles sighed. "Fine. How many questions are there?"

Izzy consulted her folder. "Um - a few. From different people, obviously."

The Captain composed himself. It was only fan mail, after all. Nothing too strenuous.

"So, are you ready to start your questioning?" Izzy asked enthusiastically.

Barnacles sighed heavily, hesitating for a long moment before nodding somewhat reluctantly. "I don't really see that I have much choice."

A/N) Okay, so the next chapter will be questioning Barnacles! Keep your questions coming in, I have already written with three of them! I hope you can all send in questions! Thanks! Izzy