Neon Red [Order The eBook] [Zayn]

63

(DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. It's important to remember this is all totally fabricated, embellished, and exaggerated for entertainment purposes.)

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Warning: This chapter is super long, I'm sorry, but I didn't want to break it up into more chapters because it all went together in quick flashbacks. 

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Change is inevitable

Why hold on to what you have to let go of?

Like, did I really break your heart?

Was it all my fault?

Jhené Aiko | Spotless Mind

March 2015

Hong Kong, China

Get up and get out. Now. Move now. Go! My eyes sprang open and I tried to see through the shadows to remember where I was. Still in my hotel room in Hong Kong, it seemed, despite having secured an early flight to take me out of there that morning. Wait, was it night? Oh yeah...I'd missed my flight because of him. Plus some fuck-face named Han Xu. And if I weren't careful, I'd missed the rescheduled one as well. Shit. My body struggled to move. I must've weighed a metric ton. Hold on...was this a nightmare? Was I asleep or awake? Ugh, I didn't have time for this shit. Everything was going wrong. Everything.

As expected, things had become rather monotonous on the road again. All throughout the Australia leg it was the same routine. Wake up, jerk off, eat, rehearse, warm up with "Boom Boom Pow," perform, then meet Haz after every show. Japan: Wake up, jerk off, eat, rehearse, warm-up, perform, meet Haz. Same with Singapore. Same with Thailand. Lather, rinse, repeat. But in China, it had all come to a screeching halt. I'd been on edge the entire time, walking the most ragged and splintering tightrope between here and where I longed to be, and he had shoved me over once and for all.

I detached my body from the sticky one lying beside me and climbed off the bed. Freedom, thank fuck. He was out cold. Luckily my bag was already packed and I didn't have to do much to make a clean escape. Shoving my boots on, I gave the room a once over to make sure I wasn't missing anything. My hands shook as I jotted down a quick note for him on the hotel stationary. Fuck, hurry up, hurry up! Go, go, go! The pen went out because I was trying to write against a wall. I sat the pad down onto the nightstand to finish it. Trembling uncontrollably for fear that he would wake up before I was gone, I threw the pen down harder than I intended to.

Love you. Be back in a week. -Z

I placed it onto the pillow where I had lain, and despite warning myself not to, I couldn't help but glance at his face. That was the absolute last thing I should've done, because it only made the getaway more difficult. Still, there was no way I could go without one last meaningful look. He was my baby. I had to look at least one more time. Downloading data for the memories that would sustain me in the months and years to come without him. Without him. I didn't like the sound of that. Without him, without him, without him.

An angel lay before me. He was so stunning, despite the dried tears on his cheeks and the puffy eyes. He rested so serenely, deceived by the wine into feeling at ease. Asleep on my pillow instead of his own, a sometimes annoying habit of his. Can I stay, can I stay? Was all I ever remembered him asking, and it always came at the cost of sharing one pillow because he refused to use his own. God I would miss that.