[[ TEMPTATIONS ]] » saiouma «

ｔｗｅｎｔｙ － ｓｅｖｅｎ

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𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗹𝘀
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Kokichi couldn't walk into a room like a normal student anymore. Whenever he did; the group in there would turn quiet, or speak in hushed whispers whilst eyeing him sideways. He couldn't walk past people like a normal student. Whenever he strutted past them; they quickly averted eye contact and sped up their pace. All except for Maki and Kaito, who never failed to glare at him with piercing eyes.

Even Kiibo was a stranger, once again. Kiibo walked past Kokichi like he'd never seen him in his life, though Kokichi could see that hidden, longing emotion behind Kiibo's robotic complexion. Perhaps he was longing to yell at him, scream and berate him. But maybe- maybe he was longing to ask why. Because even though Kiibo was a robot, it wasn't right. Kokichi wasn't... like that. But nonetheless, he never voiced his concerns.

Everybody avoided eye contact. Everybody glared daggers. Everyone.

Well... almost. Only one was missing. Kokichi hadn't seen Shuichi in the two days after the trial. It seemed like the detective was going to great lengths just to avoid him.

Shuichi ate his cold dinner in the dining room after everyone had left. He'd skip out on lunch; his appetite had taken quite the decline after the trial. The only time he'd get to drink his beloved coffee, one of the few comforts he had left- was when he would sneak behind the dormitories and enter the school through a back door, taking the long way around simply to avoid the other boy. He'd keep his head down and stare at his shoes as he scurried through the halls.

Maki and Kaito would occasionally bring Shuichi books from the library, but generally left him alone. He could never read the books. He'd skim a few pages- sometimes even a few chapters- and then realise he hadn't been reading the words or registering the sentences at all. His mind was too occupied with thoughts of him. He'd slam the books shut and toss them across the room and rub his face raw.

Not even books could occupy his mind anymore. He hated it.

And then- at night, he'd curl up with his knees to his chest, scrunch his eyes shut, and wait. But sleep rarely came. He always felt cold and alone. The bed felt empty without the indent beside him, the smaller boy latched onto his torso and cuddling him like a stuffed animal. Shuichi didn't realise how much Kokichi had affected him until now. He couldn't get him off his mind. Whether that was due to the side effects of heartbreak, or Kokichi's manipulative conditioning, wasn't clear. Shuichi just knew that he felt empty. He wasn't himself anymore. Just a carapace of the person he used to be.

He tried not to think. But the silence was a killer, too.

For Kokichi, the nightmares had returned. Stronger than they were previously.

The two nights he'd slept alone were surrounded in negativity and trauma. He couldn't get just right- when he curled up in a tight ball, the covers over his head, he'd get claustrophobic and panic, but whenever he kicked the covers off, he felt exposed and vulnerable. He couldn't sleep, and neither could Shuichi. Awake and alone in the middle of the night, alone, suffering, and missing the other a great deal.

Shuichi lay on his left side, staring blankly into the darkness.

Kokichi lay on his right side, his knees held close to his chest with his arms holding them tight. The pillow below him was damp, and the tears rolled over the bridge of his nose and down the side of his face, seeping onto the covers beneath his head. He made not a noise.

If they were in the same bed, they'd be staring directly into each other's eyes. But, they were rooms away. Alone. Aching. Longing for each other. A longing that they could not fulfil.