Autophobia

Deep

Zane needed a drink and he needed a strong one. His shoulders felt as stiff as rocks as he watch Amelia look through the files that Carter tried to hide. She looked so small in his chair. She sat there hunched over the files. She was rereading them, looking through all the paper with a fine-tooth comb. Her tears have all run out and her eyes were red. He imagined how irritated they must be from her wiping them with her sleeve.

"There's no receipt?"

Zane knew what she was asking about. It was more common for a family to sell their children to the black market than people believe. Special cases like Amelia would have a receipt to show both her parents' bloodline and genetics to show proof of her qualities.

"The lack of receipt either means Carter is trying to hide the identity of your real parents." He leaned down to see what she was looking at, a chart showing her age, weight, and other things that they recorded when they first took her. "Or you were stolen."

Amelia looked up to Zane. Her face no longer looked pained. She has been rigid and cool since they both came back to his place. She spoke with a calm and even tone that she didn't even have before this discovery. Zane hated seeing her like that. It reminded him of himself and for her to act like him was unnerving.

She set the file down and leaned back in the chair. She was looking on straight to the door. Zane tried to read her, but before he could she let out a dry laugh.

Zane pulled his brows together. "What's so funny?" He didn't mean to come off rude. But he was confused by her reaction.

Luckily, she didn't take it personally and looked up to him. "You were a man that I considered a real monster when we first met. You've hurt me and scared me."

She stood up and looked at him. She didn't have a friendly or an angry look. Right now he couldn't tell what she was feeling. Hearing what she had to say about him brought unfamiliar nerves again, embarrassment. He isn't even sure if he had apologized for what he had done.

"What about now?" He moved off his desk and stood in front of her. He didn't want to come off as threatening, he usually got this close to people as an intimidation tactic, but he wanted to look at her straight on. Lately, he's been feeling undone by this woman and what she says next might break him.

She bit her lip looking up at him with softening eyes. "I hate you for taking me, I hate you for hurting me. But if you never came to take me I may never have figured out that I wasn't his. I may have continued to be his spectacle at parties until he picked my husband and he too may have done the same thing he did." She looked at the file on the table, the bitter look returning. "I am angry that it took you so long to tell me. But if you never told me I know Carter certainly would never confess. Would you tell me if you had found anything else?"

"Right now there's nothing I know that you don't know. And yes, I'd tell you."

She nodded. "Thank you."

They both stood there for a while. Zane could see that she was thinking something. Maybe she had something that she wanted to say. Whatever it was, Zane wouldn't know since she looked away from him and walked to the door to leave.

"I'd like to be left alone for a while."

Zane only nodded. Not knowing what to say. For a moment he wished he was Carlos, he was better with words and better with things like this. He watched her leave, wanting to follow her. He knew she wasn't OK. She opened the door and stalled but she left, shutting the door gently behind herself, never looking back at him.

Zane took a seat. Opening his bottom left drawer he pulled out a bottle of rum and glass. He poured it to the brim, knowing he was not in the mood to put some ice in it.