Cruel Affections (Levi x Reader)

- Chapter 11 -

Summary: Getting some time and space to think about your relationship with Levi wasn't quite what you expected it to be.

Notes: Hello! sorry for the wait, I tried to make this one longer to make up for it.

And thank you so much for your patience & comments, they keep me motivated lol.

---

Sitting up on your bed, you grimaced as your neck and shoulders ached with stiffness, signs of yet another restless night. A full night of sleep was rare nowadays, with all that you had on your mind due to your captain being such an influence- even his sleeping habits seemed to be rubbing off on you now.

When you glanced outside the window and saw scouts clamoring outside, likely making their way to their posts for the day, you immediately jumped out of bed. You had woken up late, which meant you risked missing breakfast and would have to sit through another one of Levi's lectures on the importance of timeliness.

Or maybe not?

He did say he would treat you better but knowing him; it could've been a last-ditch effort to get you to hear him out. After all, the entire conversation was everything you wanted to hear, but words never held the same weight as actions did. Then again, his actions seemed to say the same thing, didn't they?

You brushed the thought off, for now, choosing to grab some clothes and get dressed for the day instead of wasting any more time. As you tugged a shirt on, your eyes landed on the journal that sat on your desk, an abandoned hobby of yours, it seemed. You couldn't even remember the last time you wrote in it, but figuring it could be helpful to start up again, you grabbed it and tucked it into a shoulder bag as you hurriedly reached for the door.

Something on the floor just past the door frame caught your eye, and you realized it was an envelope stamped with a red seal, the color wax that belonged to the Survey Corps as each division had its own. It wasn't common to receive a letter like this, though, and you weren't expecting news unless commander Erwin changed your squad, so it was obvious who it was from.

Levi wouldn't send a letter if he could just speak to me here... What's the urgency?

With nervous fingers, you slipped the letter into your bag, deciding that you'd read it later when you had the time. Your primary focus now was to grab something to eat, especially now that curiosity was settling in your empty stomach.

You were practically rushing down the stairs to the mess hall, relieved to see that although breakfast was nearly over, there was still food available. Settling on some muffins and a cup of tea, you walked over to a free table as others stood up after cleaning their plates.

After eating some of one muffin and taking some tongue-burning sips of tea, you remembered the letter in your bag and decided to read it as nobody was around to see. You lifted the seal, plucked the paper out of the fold, and straightened it between your fingers. As your eyes scanned the first two words, your heart fluttered.

Dear (Y/N),

Some affairs need to be settled in town, so I'll be out for a couple of days with Erwin and Hange. It could be longer, though. You can tell the other brats to act accordingly and continue their tasks per usual. I don't have much faith in the others, but I trust that you won't do anything stupid while we are away.

Now, I don't want to continue as if nothing ever happened. I also understand that you need time to think, but I feel like I don't do anything but that... It's exhausting to imagine the amount of time I've possibly wasted in doing so.

I've been thinking about what you said, and you're right. I've done nothing but give you hell over the years, and that does not represent how I actually feel at all.