Broken┆✓

Chapter 1

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~Y/N POV~

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Today was a special day. At least for others.

Today was the day I first showed up unannounced in this orphanage a year ago. Everyone was rushing around, preparing a party for this day while I had locked myself up in my room as usual.

I didn't like celebrating.

Who would celebrate the day they almost died?

"Y/N UNNIE!!!" The door banged loudly and I sighed as I opened the door.

The attacker was about to charge at the door like a bull but as I opened the door the little figure crashed into me, hugging my knees because that was her height.

"Heejin! You could've gotten hurt!" I scolded the six-year-old who pouted sulkily.

"Unnie don't love me. Unnie bad." I chuckled at her baby talk. She just looks so adorable with her big doe eyes and pouty lips that you can't stay mad at her.

"Is Heejin good then?" I asked brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Yes. I no eat chocolate." She showed me her teeth and I smiled. Even though the half-eaten chocolate bar was still in her hand she still thinks I would fall for her tricks.

"Why did you come here then? To show me your teeth?" I asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows and frowned, thinking.

Suddenly, as if a light bulb was turned on her face lit up.

"Yes! Eomma want Unnie!" She grabbed my finger into her small hands and dragged me out with her. I had to crouch to her level so we were walking at her height and speed.

When we reached Mrs Kang's office I stopped Heejin from going inside.

"Unnie will call you okay? For now, go and play." I ruffled her hair and she smiled at me again and turned to go to her toys.

I took a deep breath and entered Mrs Kang's office.

Only a year and I can still feel the nostalgia for her office. Her office was very simple and sophisticated, with not much furniture except for her table, a sofa, some potted plants and a huge bookshelf stuffed with books. There was a window at the far wall that allowed you to see the main gate from here. The table, as usual, was overflowing with books and papers with Mrs Kang sitting in the middle.

She looked up through her spectacles and her face broke into a huge smile.

"Ah, Y/N. Sit down." She gestured to the chair and I sat in it waiting for her to speak.

"I called you here for our usual sessions. However, today's session will be different and short too considering the kids are working so much for you." Mrs Kang winked at me playfully and I chuckled.

"I had told them not to waste their money for me, but they never listen, do they?" We both laughed, almost like a mother-daughter.

"Well, I told them to make the party as good as possible." Mrs Kang chuckled. "Anyway, let us begin with our sessions, okay?"

I nodded.

When I came here a year ago, I was wearing a black tee with black jeans that were not ripped but actually torn by bushes and stuff. I had told them I have no memory of my past life whatsoever. Meaning total amnesia. I gave them a name, Jung Y/N. Mainly because it was my real name and also a name close to my heart.

"What do you think of birds?"

Weird question. What is a bird doing in my sessions? Anyways, answer it cleverly Y/N.

"Birds can fly." A chuckle left Mrs Kang's mouth. Okay, maybe not this clever.

"Try again." She smiled.

"Birds are free. They do not have burdens. They are not bound to their pasts like we are, they live in the present and try to make a better future every day. They find their own ways. They are just beautiful." I said what came to my mind.

"Good. What is your favourite bird?"

I tensed up a bit. Mrs Kang didn't notice my clenched fists and tapping feet as she was looking intensely at my face. But I kept my cool and my face neutral.

I decided to let down my guard for today. Today is special, right?

"I like Swan. Black Swan." I answered.

"Any particular reason?"

"They are delicate, beautiful. They blend into the shadows. Not to be seen again." I replied blankly. Mrs Kang nodded slowly, taking everything in.

"Is there anything in your childhood, any snippet of memory you remembered, any dream, anything related to Black Swan?" Mrs Kang questioned further.

But my brain flogged with my own memories. Hidden memories, buried memories I wouldn't even dare tell anyone for the fear that I myself wouldn't be able to bear them.

I stood up abruptly as my headache started intensifying.

"I guess this is okay for this session. Kamsamnida." I bowed and exited the office before Mrs Kang could call me in again. I knew she wanted me to remember everything again, but how can I remember anything I desperately want to forget?

"Unnie?" I heard a soft voice calling me from the corner.

Heejin stood there with a baby doll in her hand, looking at me quizzically.

Ever since I came here no one really came near me. Obviously because of me. My resting bitch face is the deadliest face you might have ever seen, that scares everyone away. Even Heejin was once afraid of me. But since the day I gave her my cotton candy when her cotton candy was destroyed in the rain, she saw I am not the cold person I usually show.

And I was secretly happy she is not afraid of me. At least I have someone who genuinely cares about me here.

After all, what could an abandoned orphan ask for except love and affection?

"Heejin? Were you waiting for me?" I pretended to be surprised. She seemed happy at my reaction.

"I love Unnie. I stay for her." She said proudly and I ruffled her hair.

As we walked back to my room, the kids around me bowed to me curtly acknowledging my presence. For some reason, they would never talk to me eye to eye but will always bow as if it was a subconscious action.

Maybe the eyes of their subconscious can see my dark soul that once used to rule.

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I love stars.
I want many stars in my universe.
Oh, you wanna be one?
Click this star...and you will be one of my universe!