POV Felix
"Dad, I told you I can take care of myself"
"Yeah, but I'm just worried that something might happen to you... What if you forget to take your pills? Or what if your heart su-"
"Dad enough!", I said angrily.
My dad will leave for a business trip for the next 2 weeks and I'm gonna have to live alone in that time. I understand that he's worried, I mean, I could literally die any moment, but he shouldn't think about that too much. He already suffered enough and now it's his time to get a promotion. With this promotion he can earn twice as much as he earns now and we would be able to buy even better medicine for me and I could get a better treatment for my disease. My dad on the other hand, could afford a bigger house and pay off all our depts. So in other words: I can expect to live longer and maybe our life's can start changing for the better.
The past 10 years have been a hell of a ride for us. My mother died when I was 8 because of leukemia and just a year later, doctors have found out that I have a very rare disease that affects my heart. At any given moment it can stop beating and I would die instantly. Because of that I have to take different kind of medicine everyday to make sure that my heart gets protected. The side effects of them are however, that I'm generally weakened and dangerously thin.
Ill, weakened and very thin. This makes me a target at school. But not only because of that. Me and my dad moved to Korea when I turned 10, so about 8 years ago. I had to adapt to a completely new place and culture. My hair was different from everyone's else; the majority had black hair while I had blonde hair; I had a slight accent while speaking, since I'm not a Korean native speaker; and the biggest bummer of all: I'm bisexuell. All those small details contribute to me being bullied at school.
How can the world be so cruel? You have to fit the standards that society made up itself. If you're not as everyone else you're either an outsider or with a little bit of luck and money you're automatically special and above the rest of the people. It's so ridiculous but everyone just accepts it as it is and moves on. There are actually people who don't care about those standards at all and just want to live in a peaceful world where everyone is kind to each other. "Treat people with kindness" or "Treat people as you like to be treated" are one of the idioms that these type of people use, including me. I try to be kind to anyone that comes across in my life, no matter what their preferences are, how they look like or who they tend to love. But apparently this is too hard for some people; for those people that bully me. I've never upset anyone, I've never bullied anyone but they still chose to pick on me. It's getting tiring every day and it's getting harder to keep a positive mind and move on, especially with the thought that I could die any moment. I don't know how longer I can resist against the pain, but I'll have to try; for my dad, for myself.
My dad gave me hug and looked at me one last time before turning around and getting into his car. I've watched him as he drove away to the airport and stood there for some couple of minutes before going back inside. It was Sunday evening and tomorrow would be a new painful day for me. I should spend the last hours of daylight outside and start drawing a new picture.
It was mid April, the days got warmer and longer, flowers started to bloom again and I could enjoy more time outside. I went inside my room and started collecting all the utensils I would need for my new drawing. An easel, a canvas, some acrylic paint, a pencil, paintbrushes, water and my headphones was all I needed to get started. On the way outside I grabbed a blanket just in case if it starts to get colder later and a comfortable chair to sit on. Drawing was one of the few things I liked to do in my free time, especially outside because that's where I get most of my inspirations. Besides drawing I also like to do photography. It may sound boring to a lot of people, but to me it's not. This is the only way I can express my feelings without needing much words and explanations. Of course there are a lot of ways to interpret a drawing or a specific picture, but I hope that I can bring my message across without any misunderstandings.
I've plugged in my earphones, put on my drawing playlist and got to work. Today was a peaceful day.
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Any first thoughts about Felix? :)
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angel from hell; hyunlix
FanfictionFelix, a boy with the worst life imaginable who gets bullied at school, has lost his mother and on top of all has an incurable disease, is starting to lose hope for a better life. Hyunjin, the devil himself, wants to have Felix in his possession. A...
