MADE FOR YOU | 18+

seventeen

The air smelled of freshly baked pastries and the water was glistening, reflecting the pink and orange sunset as I began to walk across the Rialto bridge and reminisce on my last trip to Venice. This city had a way of forcing me to reflect on myself in a way that no other did. I desperately tried to ignore the fact that my life was not the same as it was last year, when I still had Victoria by my side...when I still had my dad. It was an off limits topic in my household, and the fact I hadn't heard from him in over a year now made me question if I ever will. In a way, I sympathized with the young woman who stole his heart. I was like her in a lot of ways. Pining after a man ten years my senior. At least Damien wasn't married. That was the one difference that made me despise my father so much. He never indicated he was unhappy with my mother, with their marriage. And ultimately, that is exactly what broke her. I rest my elbows on the ledge of the stone bridge, watching my fellow classmates laughing excitedly on their gondola rides. A ghost of a smile crept onto my face as I saw Kennedy leaning peacefully into Jaxon's lap as they slowly drifted down the blue lagoon. At least one of us was enjoying their time here.

After the walk, many students chose to go to a party that was happening back at the beach, as it was only 9:30, so they had some time to kill. I, on the other hand, went to my hotel room to get ready for my meeting with Damien.

Riffling through the clothes I'd packed, I found a light blue sundress which was both appropriate for the weather and hugged my curves flawlessly. While I hoped this talk with Damien led to something more, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely nervous for tonight. The anticipation was slowly killing me, and all I wanted to do was feel his strong arms wrapped around me once more. I took a sip from the flask of vodka I had in my purse before doing my usual light makeup routine and adding a touch of my favorite lipgloss. Checking the time, it was now 10:30, so I decided to leave. Making my way outside the hotel, I'm greeted by the hot and humid air of Italy. The walk to the Santa Lucia bar and bistro was only ten minutes, but I strolled along leisurely, taking my time and desperately trying not to have a full fledged panic attack. By the time I arrived, it was 10:45, and Damien was bound to appear any minute now. I sit down on one of the soft leather barstools and make myself comfortable, asking the bartender for an espresso martini and checking my phone to see that Damien had texted me two minutes ago.

Be there in a minute.

A pit began to form in my stomach, unsure if this was a good idea or not. I had no idea what he was going to say, and there was a good chance I wouldn't like it. I nervously sipped my martini and double checked my appearance in the mirror to my side before hearing a low voice behind me.

"Good evening, Ana."

I could feel his breath against my neck as I spun around to greet him.

"Damien." I shyly muttered as he took off his light gray jacket and sat beside me.

"Thanks for meeting me here. I honestly didn't know if you would after, well, you know."

There was a long pause before he continued.

"Listen, Ana, I'm sorry about the way I acted. I realize how confusing it must have been for you, and I'm certainly not proud of it."

The apologetic look in his eyes told me he was being genuine, although I wasn't sure what came next.

"I appreciate the apology. I really do. But I still don't understand where this leaves us." I muster up the courage to look at him in the eyes once again and decide that if I don't say it all now, I never will. "I like you, Damien. A lot. These past few months, spending time with you, has been incredible and honestly I don't know what I would have done without you. You- you make me feel alive. I can't stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I try. Especially after our kiss."

Damien sat quietly for a moment, averting his gaze somewhere off to the side. My heart beat wildly as I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Ana. I need you to know something. I don't typically do relationships. I've never been that kind of man. I've always been quite career driven, to a fault really. I don't want either of us to end up getting hurt. You're so young, so bright...you should be enjoying your last year of secondary school. You shouldn't be hung up on some sorry excuse of a man like me who can't give you the world. Who can't devote every second to you. Because that's what you deserve, Ana. You deserve the world."

Tears began to form in my eyes as I fought the urge to let them fall. He is so goddamn perfect and I wish he could see himself in the way that I do. It's absolutely infuriating.

"Damien, I don't want the world. I want you." I said as I brought my hand to his face, feeling the stubble across his chin and resting my palm on his cheek. He slowly brought his gaze up to me and a grin began to spread across his face ever so slightly.

"You really are something...you know that?" he asked.

"All I know" I began, "is that we are in one of the most beautiful and romantic cities in the world, and it would be a shame to waste a night like this on fighting what we both know is inevitable. What we both know we want so desperately. Can you honestly say you'll be able to cut ties with me once we're back at St. George? Because even if you did, I don't know if I could live with knowing we never tried. Could you?"

He let out a sigh.

"No. I couldn't."

"So let's try."