𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 ↳ 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘇

15 | 𝘏𝘐𝘎𝘏

DRUG USE TRIGGER WARNING!! IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO IS TRYING TO QUIT SMOKING THEN I SUGGEST NOT READING

rosalind monroe's pov

today's the day of the fight. how is mom going to let me out? good question. she's going out with some dude and then is going shopping with her friends which leaves me at home alone while lilac's at school. she said she'll be gone the full day, which is dumb. you just grounded your teen daughter and expect her not to sneak out, she trusts me to much.

i sat in bed the entire day, overthinking. before mom left today she told me she discussed what was going to happen with the fight thing. apparently elton's parents want to press charges on me, mom said she discussed the seriousness of pressing charges against a 16 year old and what this means. she told me the did a good job at convincing and is almost certain they won't press charges. ambers right — i have no future.

i shouldn't be fighting amber, i really shouldn't. i'm fucking my life up. with already 1 possible charge of assault the police will look at me saying it was self defense and ignore it completely, siding with amber.

i can't go, i really shouldn't. i'll tell her to wait it out, yeah. sure i'm being a pussy but i really can't risk anything. i just won't show, i doubt she'll show too. i'm a fool to ever think i could get away what i was about to do. if i did, next thing you'll know i'll end up in juvie and won't find a job if i keep this up. i need to work on self improvement, yeah.

i decided to do just that. yeah, i was feeling a bit down and was in need of some cheering up so i decided to go to the gym.. downstairs. we have a gym in the basement that usually my mom uses while lilac and i stay out of it. but how else would i be cheered back up, i heard the gym helps alot.

as i walked down the stairs and was about to begin using the treadmill i saw a pack of cigarettes, i smoked before but i never did it again.

why not just smoke one cigarette, my mom won't notice. besides, she's just as guilty as me. she literally donated to rehab charities in the past.

i opened the window and went upstairs to grab a lighter before returning back down. my veins were filled with adrenaline, the last time i smoked i was 14. i chuckled as i lit the cigarette and brung it to my mouth, just one cigarette. nobody will ever find out, nobody. after this i'll go back on the treadmill and begin my run. maybe after this i'll go outside and take a walk around the neighborhood. i can't get in trouble for staying fit can i?

soon enough the cigarette was to short to where i was supposed to put it out. i felt relaxed and a little better.

don't smoke again rosalind, it was one time. i won't ever smoke again, i promise myself it.

i got up from where i was sitting before throwing the cigarette out the window and began making my ways towards the treadmill before hopping on and began walking.

i decided once i'm no longer high which will take a few minutes i'll begin running. i don't want to be running on a treadmill while i'm high, i could get fall and like any human being, i don't want that.

once those fews minutes were over i began running on the treadmill faster and faster. getting all the stress and anger out though i still felt a little sad speaking i do miss my friends, i'll see lilac in a few hours though so it doesn't matter.

30 minutes past and i decided to stop running. about 10 minutes in i decided to slow down until another 5 minutes later i decided to speed up and i eventually went back and forth. i'm proud of myself for running for so long, it was silly to ever smoke and think that it would resolve my problems.

i decided to begin walking upstairs and into the kitchen to find something to eat. i grabbed some yogurt and orange juice before deciding whether or not i should make oatmeal. yes it's 12:30pm but i was still craving oatmeal and was dying for some. i decided to go for it.

i'm so lucky to have my mother as my mother, if it were anyone else i'm probably be locked up in my room while lilac would be sleeping at home. and that's on trust.

to be honest mom should just adopt lilac at this point. lilac's always over here while she's forced to see her family once a month. while i'm at home i should learn another language, like spanish or greek. no greek is to hard. maybe portuguese? that'd be cool. hindi would be cool too.

i really need to decide, my goal in these 3 weeks is to learn as much as i can in 3 weeks for one language. it'd be interesting if i were to learn how to say hello in all the languages.

if i were to learn a language i'd have to keep it a secret though. like imagine being in the middle of class while some badass person i met online that speaks the same language as me walks into class out of the blue and nobody knows who they are and they randomly start speaking the language and i respond in that language and everyone's in shock and are impressed at my language skills, you'll never know how many times i imagined that scenario. i could also use it for a job too.

*• *•* •*

time passed by quickly. school ended and i was sitting in my room, waiting for lilac to walk in. she probably already guessed that i wasn't going to show up.

all of a sudden the door opens to appear lilac.

"i assume you backed out, didn't want to risk anything?" she said, raising a brow

"yep" i respond, looking out the window

"y'know, cher asked about you today. she asked where you were and if you were expelled or not"

"what'd you say?" i ask, turning my head towards her

"i told her you got a 3 week suspension and a 1 month and 2 week grounding period. i also included you were trying to work on the grounding thing with your mom though so yeah" she says

"to be honest am i really grounded? i mean yeah sure i can't really hang out with friends. but she doesn't lock me in my room and trusts me. for all she knows i could be sneaking around and shit"

"she wants you to still be active, she said it isn't fair for her to lock you in your room for a month. oh also here's the homework for today, you might wanna work on that"

"right, homework" i say, annoyed

published :: april 1st 2022
i'm going to include a drug use warning for the chapters after this because the smoking thing will come up again and be mentioned and stuff so yeah.

- sincerely, rielle <3