Looking Back

4 - Noah

Six Years Ago

I pulled into the school parking lot and ignored the thundering headache, curtesy of Caleb and I getting hammered on a Wednesday night. I'm doing better than Caleb, I thought, I'm at least at school.

I sit in my seat for a while before there is a light knock on my window. I look up and rub my eyes but quickly frown. Paige. "Hey," I say, once the window is rolled down far enough.

She's wearing her hair up today, I notice. It looks good, I decide. "Have you heard from Caleb? He hasn't answered me. We were supposed to get breakfast today."

It physically hurts to focus on her words right now but I can tell she's upset. I tell her to get in the car and she climbs into the passenger side. As soon as she sits, I notice she smells like coconut. I check my phone and show her. "No messages."

She bites her lip. I now notice the blue sweater she has on. She looks really good today. I get frustrated at Caleb for standing her up today. "Did you try calling him?" I offer, each word tastes like bile.

She nods and then turns her body towards me. Her light blue eyes meet mine for the first time this morning and I swallow. "You're his best friend," she starts, "do you think he's cheating on me?"

I'm surprised she asked me. She and I, despite my friendship with Caleb, have never been very close. I wouldn't even consider us friends. I then surprise us both by laughing. "I couldn't answer that even if I wanted to." And because I realized what my words would mean to her, I wish I could take them back. "I just mean, last night was the first time I'd seen him in a while."

Her face is then clouded with confusion. "He was with you last night?" The way she asks leads me to the assumption he didn't tell her. Asshole. I start to get annoyed. She must see this because she starts to get out of the car. But I grab her arm. As soon as I do, goosebumps cover my arm. I pull my arm back as though I'd been burned. She doesn't give any indication that she just felt what I did. "I'm sorry. I'm really hungover right now," I say truthfully. "I haven't talked to Caleb since last night."

I refrain from asking her if she felt anything just now. Or why she's with someone who doesn't respect her. She's too good for Caleb. For me. But I wouldn't stand her up.

Her voice brings me back from my thoughts. "Thank you, Noah." The way she says my name sends shivers down my spine. I shut my eyes. It's too painful. Having spent most of your best friends relationship falling in love with his girlfriend.

When she leaves, I groan into my hands and shut off my car. I hate Im not a better friend. But I can't shake this feeling. I want to punch him in the face for making her feel like he's cheating. She doesn't deserve that.

I turn the car back on before I change my mind and head in the direction of Caleb's house. I need to get over her. Maybe ensuring they stay together is the best way to do that.

But now my car smells like coconut.

~*~

They say there's always one moment that's bound to change your life forever. I thought for sure my moment was meeting Alex. She was the first real step I'd ever taken at getting over Paige. My next guess would probably be the night we got engaged. Or her telling me we're having a baby.

But those all get trumped by this phone call. "What do you mean, you can't give me her condition over the phone," I demand. "Just tell me what's going on." I had been at home preparing tonight's dinner when I got the call. I had missed the first one and didn't bother calling back. But when I got the second call, I figured I should probably answer.

The news that my future wife was in a car accident on her way to work sends whatever was already in my hands to the floor and I have to hang on to the counter to steady myself.