The Baby Project: Put me back together

Hermione- Chapter 12

When I wake up from my position on the floor, things are different. 

Draco isn't beside me.

He isn't in the apartment either.

Instantly, my mind jumps to the worst possible conclusion. "Draco," I call faintly, but I know he won't answer.

"Draco," again louder, but he doesn't come. 

I sigh, convincing myself that he's just gone for breakfast. 

I wander back into the bedroom, trailing my hands slowly over the bedside table. My hand lingers on Draco's tablet container a moment longer than they should.

I could check.

Just to be sure he's taking them.

Before I can convince myself not to, I'm unscrewing the cap and counting the pills left. 

I frown.

I'm pretty sure that's the right amount, which means he really has been taking them.

I just hope the antidepressants are working. 

I walk aimlessly into the living room, at a loss for what to do. There is a note on the table. I pick it up quickly, expecting it to be in Draco's writing. I am slightly disappointed when I see the traditional Hogwarts font, but I scan through it all the same. 

Great. Our first ultrasounds today. And I've lost Draco.

Right, time to go and find him.

I search pretty much the whole of Hogwarts for him, but he is nowhere to be found. 

Fine then, if that's how he wants to have it, two can play that game.

He is not in the Great Hall either, but Cho is. I walk over to her, and she offers me a small smile. 

"First ultrasound today then?" she asks amiably, twirling her fingers together agitatedly.

I place a hand over them, trying to calm her nerves. 

"Hey, we can go together if you like," I say softly, and her chocolate brown eyes meet mine hopefully. 

"But don't you want Draco to go with you?" she asks.

I sigh. "He's gone AWOL at the moment," I laugh mirthlessly.

She nods, seeming to silently understand. Then, she stands, linking her arm through mine. 

"Shall we?" she says formally.

I fall into step next to her. "We shall."

Cho goes first, and I watch  as Madame Pomfrey smears the jelly-like substance over her tummy.

I wonder why we are using the muggle method, but I don't question it. 

When the two faint foetal shapes pop up on the screen, Cho gasps happily. She takes my hand, and I smile at her. 

Despite the fact that Ron isn't supporting her, her eyes light up at seeing her children on the screen. 

Sometimes I forget that they aren't real. 

And then it is my turn, and I am the one lying on the bed, feeling the cold sting of the gel being rubbed on me. 

And then it is me looking at the screen.

Many of the features aren't formed yet, it's only really been 12 weeks in sped-up time, but I can distinguish the shape of my child. 

I'm overcome with a wave of sadness, remembering that this baby isn't real. I feel a sudden pang, like I'm missing something. 

And I think I know what it is.

A baby.

I've never really given much thought to babies or children.

I love kids of course, but I've never spared much time to think of my own. 

But now that I've started, I can't stop thinking about it. 

I want children.

Even back at the apartment later, staring at the blurry lines of my child on the printed photo Made Pomfrey gave me, I am still thinking about it. 

That's when Draco enters. I crumple the paper in my hand, wanting to keep it to myself for a little while longer. 

"Hi," I say automatically, crossing my arms, and he doesn't reply with so much as a grunt.

First he doesn't bother showing up to the ultrasound, then he ignores me. The AUDACITY.

My heart is hammering in my chest, thinking of our kiss the night before. I deflate when he ignores me, striding past me into the bathroom and shutting the door loudly behind him. 

I hear faint  sniffs, then they subside, and he emerges, shutting the door gently this time. 

"Draco?" I call, and he stiffens, pure terror in his eyes. 

"Hey, it's ok," I say softly, taking a small step towards him. 

"I'll take the sofa," he says monotonously, the fight leaving him.

I am too stunned to argue.

What just happened?

Does he regret what we did? 

Is this his way of telling me that he doesn't want to be involved with a mudblood?

Either way, I  stalk into the bedroom and flop onto the bed. 

It feels too big for just me, but within moments, I am sound asleep, worn out from the day's exertions.

Draco ignores me for the next week. 

I ignore Draco for the week after that.

We are civil, but nothing more, confirming my suspicion that it really was just a mistake.

The kiss never happened. 

I don't feel any attraction to him whatsoever. 

He's being cold and distant, and it hurts. 

So I surround myself with people, sitting with Harry, Ginny, Neville, Luna and Cho at lunch. Ron is there too, but he seems intent on ignoring my existence. 

Ironic, isn't it? Who'd have thought Ron and Draco would have something in common?

I feel lonely with them sometimes too.

I see the way Harry looks at Ginny, the way he cares for her, tending to her every need. If she so desired, he would jump off a cliff for her. 

I'm happy for them, but it reminds me of my own loneliness. Ron and I could've had that, but I threw it all away, for a boy who won't even look at me.

Did I make a mistake?

A/N: Hellooooo, update time! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm really excited and I think I know where to take this story now!

I have a quick question, where did Draco and Hermione first meet? Was it on the Hogwarts express, or at Hogwarts itself?

Thank you all so much for reading, and for being patient with my not-so-regular updates😝love youuuuu xxx

Lots of love

Saf xx