The Baby Project: Put me back together

Draco- Chapter 2

I knew that if I returned to Hogwarts, there would be people that would hate me. People who would look at me and only see the bad things I've done. People who would see me as less of a human. 

But I didn't think that I would feel so... alone.

Maybe I'm not human anymore. No. That's impossible. I am Draco Malfoy. I am a pure-blood. That's all that matters.

That's what Father told me. It must be right. Father is always right. But we lost the war. So maybe he's not...

I don't particularly want to return, but I have to do something to get away from that house. Despite its vast size, I feel claustrophobic there, with my dominating parents and their stifling interest in my life. Besides, I have to graduate. I would be a shameful Malfoy if I didn't.

I was alone the whole train journey here. A group of 6th year Hufflepuff girls came into the carriage, but saw me and walked out. It shouldn't have stung, but it did. Weren't Hufflepuffs supposed to be nice? Not to me, anyway. 

One of them caught my eye on the way out. She gave me an apologetic smile and a small wave. I didn't return it. 

When I got to Hogwarts, or as Father says, 'a pathetic excuse for a school', I went straight to the Great Hall. Better to get there first so that I don't have to find a place to sit later. 

As people started to come in, I looked up, hoping that someone would come to sit by me. No one did. I had never felt so alone. So I kept my head down the whole meal, not feeling like eating. What is the point of eating food when you don't deserve it?

Only when McGonagall starts talking about this project thing, do I actually start to listen. When she calls my name after Granger's, I look up. She is looking at me. Her eyes look so warm, so comforting. 

I don't know why I do it. I smile at her.

Then I look down again, mentally chiding myself. I should not have smiled at her. I'm not here to make friends. She's a mudblood. She's scum. That's what Father says. But I don't even know what a mudblood is anymore...

"If you'll follow me," McGonagall continues, which reminds me that she was speaking whilst I was scolding myself. "I'll show each pair to their apartment."

Apartment? I must have missed that part. Sharing a house with Granger is going to make this a whole lot more difficult...

"Hi," I hear a soft voice in my ear. Granger. 

I don't reply.

"So... this is a nice building," she continues, obviously trying to make conversation. 

It's then that I realise we are in an apartment building, standing outside a door, the number 6 written on it. The key is in my hand. I unlock the door. 

We step inside, and I look up. The room we are in is painted white, with grey furniture dotted around. I gasp. It is perfect. I sense that Granger is having similar thoughts to me, as she runs her hand across the plush armchair, her robes billowing out behind her. 

"Draco?" she asks softly as she turns around, concern in her tone. I don't need her concern. 

"What, mudblood?" I say before I can stop myself. 

She looks at me for a few seconds, as if studying me. Then, she walks out of the room, evidently wounded by my words. By me. Because that's what I do. I hurt people. I sit on the springy sofa and bury my head in my hands. Then, I stay like that. For a long time...

The next morning, I wake up on the floor, curled up in a fetal position. There is a blanket over me. A blanket which I don't remember getting. Granger must have gotten it for me in the night. I stretch, trying to elongate my aching muscles. 

I need to get dressed, so I go to the bathroom. Not looking where I'm going, I slam into something that is soft and smells like vanilla. Granger. 

"Watch where you're going, Granger," I sneer, back to my old self. Old habits die hard I guess. 

She walks away, not looking back at me. I bite my lip and carry on, although I feel empty inside.

I decide to skip breakfast, so I wander the halls aimlessly for a while. Then, I see the wall moving. I whip my head around, curious, but not concerned for my safety. I don't deserve it. 

There is a door, its intricate patterns enticing me to enter. So I step inside, wondering what I will find. 

The ceiling looks like the night sky, and a single bench sits alone in the middle of the room. There is a girl sitting on it, her brown hair tied back into a ponytail. She looks up and I recognise her. Not just as the Hufflepuff girl who smiled at me on the train, but the girl who used to come to my house when her sister, Daphne had her play-dates with me. It's Astoria Greengrass. 

She smiles at me, but I can see her tear-stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes. I wonder what she's been crying about...

No. I am not allowed to care about others. I am Draco Malfoy. I am a pure-blood. That is all that matters. 

So, when she beckons to me, I don't know why I go to sit next to her. I don't know why I ask her what is wrong. I don't know why I care. 

"Nothing," she smiles, putting on a brave face. I see right through it. After all, isn't that what I do?

So we sit in silence for a while, close together, but not touching. And suddenly, I don't feel so alone anymore...

A/N: Hi! I read somewhere that J.K Rowling never specified what Astoria's house was, so I put her in Hufflepuff... not sure if that's right though, so sorry if it's not! Thank you for sticking around to read chapter 2, I hope you're enjoying it so far! Draco is being really rude to Hermione because I don't feel that it's in Draco's nature to just suddenly reform. Also, I wanted to introduce Astoria as someone who will still talk to Draco after the war... don't worry though, they will just be friends at Hogwarts!

Lots of love

Saf xx