The Baby Project: Put me back together

Hermione- Chapter 3

I dutifully drink the potion in front of me, even though it tastes disgusting. Draco didn't come in for breakfast, but he returned afterwards to put a piece of his hair in the potion. I choke on the repulsive concoction a bit, and Draco slaps my back, seemingly without worrying about touching a mudblood. 

When I recover, he withdraws his hand quickly. I nod and mumble my thanks to him, and he looks at me for a few seconds, seeming confused. Is that the first time that anyone's ever thanked him? I shake the thought. People may not like him, but they wouldn't be rude... would they?

I keep sneaking glances at Draco all lesson, but he doesn't look up. He keeps his head down, which I'm sure must hurt his neck. As soon as we are dismissed, he bolts from the room. 

He looks... sad. I wonder what's on his mind...

Ginny catches up to me after lunch. 

"How are you feeling, Mione?" she asks, trying to sound happier than she is. 

I plaster on a smile. "Great," I say with false enthusiasm. "What about you?"

"Feeling a bit queasy," she admits. "Makes sense though, Mum had quite bad morning sickness, especially with the twins!" She tries to sound jovial, but I can hear the inner layer of sadness in her tone and the quiver in her voice at the mention of her dead brother. 

I pat her back reassuringly. "I'm sure Neville will take excellent care of you," I say kindly. 

She nods, seeming to agree. "Yeah, he's been really good so far. How's Draco?" she asks.

"Great!" I say, smiling too widely. "He's a bit quiet, but we're getting there." 

She nods, but I see that her mind is elsewhere. I follow her gaze, and see Harry walking in, chattering to Luna. 

It's strange really. Harry has lost so much in this war, has had to sacrifice so much, but yet he still smiles and laughs and acts as if everything is normal. As if he hasn't lost basically everyone to Voldemort. As if he isn't broken. 

That evening, when classes are finished and I let myself into our apartment, I see Draco sitting on the floor, his head in his hands. I debate ignoring him and walking away. 

"Draco?" I ask softly, against my better judgement. 

He doesn't reply. 

I walk closer, and place a hand on his shoulder. He jerks away, as if my touch will contaminate him.

"Leave me alone," he whispers, sounding as if he's fighting tears.

I sit down next to him. He flinches slightly, and shuffles to the right a bit, away from me.

"Go away, mudblood," he says, and I am about to get up and leave, when I hear something in his voice. Vulnerability. 

Instead, I cross my legs, seemingly unable to get comfortable. I open my mouth. Then, a thought occurs to me. 

"Umm... about the sleeping arrangements..." I start, trailing off. 

There is only one double bed, and I'm sure he doesn't want to share with me. After all, my filthy blood might be contagious. 

I expect him to make a snide comment or a cutting remark, but instead, he looks up and sighs. 

"I'll take the sofa," he says, looking straight ahead. 

I furrow my eyebrows, not expecting this. "Why?"

"You're the pregnant one, aren't you?" he asks monotonously, obviously not expecting an answer. 

He gets up, and swiftly walks to the bathroom. "I'm going for a shower," he states. Then, he pauses. "Granger," he adds, shutting the door behind him. 

I sit in silence for a moment, looking at the closed bathroom door, trying to figure him out. Why is he suddenly being so... nice? That was a drastic mood change.

That night, I can't sleep. I toss and turn in the large, empty bed, and eventually give up, deciding to go to the kitchen for some tea. When I reach there, I see someone standing there, a knife clutched in their hand. 

It is Draco.

His eyes are closed, and he gulps, before slowly bringing the knife closer to his throat. Still, he doesn't see me. 

I am frozen. 

Then, he lowers the knife, and it falls to the floor, clattering on the tiles. Draco falls with it, tears snaking down his face. 

I unfreeze. 

Draco looks up, seeing me, and goes rigid, his eyes wide, his fists clenched. 

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" he screams, startling me. Then, he clutches his head and moans, turning away from me.

That's when I hear it. 

Sobbing.

"I can't take it anymore," he whispers, seemingly to himself. 

I crawl over to him, still sitting a safe distance away, so that I don't startle him. 

"Being a monster," he cries, whimpering quietly. 

My heart breaks for him.

I pull him into a hug, and he resists for a moment, before relaxing into it, letting himself be held. I don't realise that I am crying too, silent tears falling onto his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, pulling away. 

I snap my head up in shock. Did Draco Malfoy just... apologise?

"For what?" I whisper back, and he rubs his eyes. 

"Everything."

A/N: Hi! Sorry that this is a short chapter, but I wanted to end it here, just after Draco has shown some vulnerability. I feel that Draco wouldn't suddenly open up about everything, but that he might let some things slip if he wasn't thinking straight. I hope you enjoyed it! I'm aiming to update at least once a week, although some chapters might be about this length if that's ok? Thank you so so so much for reading, I love you all. 

Lots of love

Saf xx