bitchin'

Chapter 23

"All right, so let me get this straight. You kept something you knew was probably dangerous in order to impress a girl who... who you just met?" Steve asks Dustin. The two boys plus Lindsay walk along the train tracks that lead to the junkyard, setting a trap for Dart.

"She has a name," Lindsay points out, "Max."

"Max... like Max from Halloween night?" Steve asks. She nods, "I mean, why would a girl like some nasty slug anyways?"

The boys hold buckets of raw ground beef, leaving a trail for Dart. Lindsay walks behind the two boys, carrying a can of gasoline.

"Yeah, exactly. That thing was the living equivalent to a booger," Lindsay adds. Steve scrunches his nose at the description.

"Because it's awesome," Dustin exaggerates, "it's an inter-dimensional slug."

"Well, even if she did think it was cool, which she didn't, I... I just... I don't know, I just feel like you're trying way too hard," Steve explains, throwing down a chunk of beef.

"Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, all right?" Dustin snaps. Lindsay looks down at the train tracks, uncomfortable with his anger.

"It's not about the hair, man," Steve explains, "the key with girls is just... just acting like you don't care."

"Uh, that's so not true," Lindsay butts in.

"I mean, with certain girls," her brother defends, turning to his sister, "You care about them obviously, but it drives them nuts if you act like you don't."

"Dustin, don't listen to him," the Harrington girl advises him.

"Then what?" the boy asks, ignoring her. She scoffs.

"You just wait until, uh..." Steve explains, "until you feel it."

"Feel what?" he asks cluelessly.

"It's like before it's going to storm, you know?" Steve describes, "you can't see it, but you can feel it, like this... uh, electricity, you know?"

"Oh, like in the electromagnetic field when the clouds in the atmosphere—-"

"No, no, no, no, no, no," the older boy cuts him off, "like a... like a sexual electricity."

"Can we talk about something else please?" Lindsay begs from behind the boys. Dustin doesn't say another word.

"Fabergé," Steve changes the subject.

"What?" he asks.

"It's Fabergé Organics," the teen says pointing to his hair, "Use the shampoo and the conditioner, and when your hair is damp... It's not wet, okay? It's damp, you do four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray."

"Farrah Fawcett?" Lindsay asks with wide eyes.

"Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. If you two tell anyone I just told you that, your asses are grass. You're dead, do you understand me?" he stops walking to look them in the eyes.

"Yup," Dustin nods. Steve turns to Lindsay who throws her hands up in the air

"My mouth is sealed," she says. Steve turns and begins to walk again. The two follow behind him.

"Farrah Fawcett, really?" Dustin gawks.

"I mean, she's hot," Steve comments. Lindsay laughs.

"Oh my god," she exclaims. The three finally arrive at the junkyard. Steve examines the area.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, this will do. This will do just fine. Good call, dude," he comments. The boys continue making their trail of food into the junkyard. They pour the rest of the meat in one pile.