DON'T Let The ROB Becomes The Group Admin!!!

Intermission: Zain

I... am just a side character.

.
.
.

I died.

I killed myself.

I didn't know when did I became like this, but when I was young I always thought that the concept of "Living" has no meaning by itself.

We build relationships, we learn about the world...

We eat, drink, and survive.

And to do all that, we have to work.

But... If we will eventually die, why still do something troublesome as breathing?

At the age of 21, I concluded that life has no meaning.

At first, I managed to survive this far because of a song.

"Hated by life itself" was the title.

I played it.

Played it, and played it...

Over and over.

"In truth, I couldn't care a bit if I died, but I'd be pretty sad if the people around me did"

That line forced me to stay alive till now.

However...

No parents, no siblings, no relatives, and no friends.

I don't have such things as the "people around me" in the lyrics.

Everything I do, I always ended up alone.

It's like a curse.

Anyone with any relationship with me always died at the end of the day.

It brought me to the point I got afraid of actually socializing.

Afraid of getting too close to them, just to find out they're going to leave.

If that's so then, "They all died, then it's fine if I kill myself now since no one would complain." is what you think I thought back then, right?

Truthfully, no.

At first, I had never truly cared if others cared about me or not.

The one who forced me to listen to that song was my brother.

"It's fine but, if you die I would kill myself. You understand at least that right... Aniki"

Was what I said that time, whilst listening to the song he gave me.

Of course, just looking at that line you could guess I never really hide the fact I have suicidal thoughts.

That applies to my family too.

They're worried but... I somehow can't feel the slightest of emotions even if they cared for me or not.

But it was different when I said that to my brother.

We're siblings 2 years apart, and we're not related by blood.

By the time Aniki's family adopted me, I already have these suicidal thoughts.

"What, you think I would die that easily?"

And with a smirk, he stated that.

That was a big mistake.

He just raised a flag.

Both of my parents died in a car crash when I am 15.

My school was involved in an incident that leads to me losing my "friends".