This ain't it luv

C L U E L E S S

*Play song*

Giovanni Russo

I was more nervous than I thought leading up to the date and I even had to have Maria come and reassure me that everything would be fine. Despite the fact that I didn't believe her, she was right as usual, the beginning had gone just as planned.

We had wandered through the main points of interest in Bergamo. Even after living here all my life I was still in awe every time. I think it was my mother who taught me to see the beauty in everything. My father and I don't always get along. Don't get me wrong I love him terribly but we often clash now that my mother isn't around to be the mediator.

Quite frankly I don't even know why I'm going on this date. Ana is a gorgeous girl and I know I should feel excited or glad that this is happening but I don't. I feel guilty.

My friend Luciano was the one who told me I needed to get with someone when he heard about the British school coming. In some ways you could say that it was an unconfirmed bet between me and him.

My mind had been all over the place about it. I couldn't tell if I actually wanted to be here or if I just wanted to prove myself to Luci.

However in spite of that we had spent a lovely part of the early afternoon gaining the historical knowledge of the town. To be honest Ana didn't have much to learn; she was well versed in the entirety of Bergamo.

"And just straight ahead you can see the central town monument" attempting to teach Ana something she didn't already know.

"Ah yes, I actually read about this place, isn't it one of the oldest buildings in the entirety of Bergamo. It's so gorgeous!"

"Well then I guess you both have something in common" I complimented her, flashing my bright white smile at her.

Ana giggled, "Has anyone ever told you that you're such a flirt?" She scoffed, gently nudging my shoulder as we continued to walk through the quiet streets.

" Violetta says that all the time, but to be honest with you, I'm just looking for the right girl" I avoided eye contact with Ana, not knowing what her response would be to something like that. I was not used to expressing my emotions.

Ana came to a stop to speak to me directly. "Like who?"

"Someone who doesn't care what anyone else thinks about her, someone who takes risks, someone who knows what she wants and goes for it... someone like you" I finally looked up, staring her directly in the eye . I couldn't believe I mustered enough courage to say that to her. She seemed like the perfect person to be saying this all to but somehow it didn't feel at all true.

Ana Martinez

"I- I don't know what to say Gio, why are you being so nice to me?" I was at a loss for words, where has this all come from? I knew this was a date but we'd only known each other for a day.

"Isn't it obvious Ana, I like you..."

My brain became clouded and my palms became sweaty. I wasn't expecting this at all and I wasn't good with high pressure situations. I almost wanted to tell him the same thing but I just couldn't push Ben out of my head. Ugh fuck you Ben. Why did he have to consume my thoughts?

I wanted to feel excited or swooned, but I didn't. I felt guilty.

Guilty for the fact that I wished so badly it was Ben who had said that to me.

"Um...Let's get some lunch." I noticed a restaurant with an outdoor cafe and I scurried off quickly to avoid the awkwardness of the whole situation.

I remembered what Lia said to me and I was trying so hard to listen to her about Ben. 'If he wanted to, he would.' That statement couldn't be more true at this moment. It was something my mother had said about my father and she was right. So I owed it to Gio to at least give him a chance.