My Villain, My Balance

Chapter 14: Can't Erase the Past

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

ⓌE ᕼᗩᗪ ᖴᗩᒪᒪEᑎ asleep together sometime shortly after. When I awoke, I found that the fire was burned down to red coals, although I was not cold. My head rested on Aleksander's bare chest, his body radiating warmth, the furs pulled up to my nose. The sensation of our legs tangled together under the blankets gave a distant remnant of the last hour. I smiled thinking about the blurred memories of pleasure, mutual desire, and the new sense of wholeness that I had never felt before. Aleksander held onto me tightly as he slept as if he would never let go, just how I wanted it. I looked up at his peaceful expression, eyes gently closed, lips parted. A shock of inky black hair had fallen in his face and it fluttered slightly with every exhale.

I no longer had doubts as to if he wanted me or not. I was sure he had business to attend to around camp, papers piling up on his desk, yet he chose to be here with me. It still surprised me, but I was more willing to accept it after the fact.

His eyes opened drowsily and he smiled down at me. "Well, hello my Little Sun Summoner." He traced the outline of my lips and then kissed them gently. "How do you feel?"

How do you feel? I repeated the question in my head. I felt a lot of things. I was eager to find the second amplifier. I was disappointed in Mal. But for the most part, I was happy and that was something that I had not been for a long time. I was happy to be here with him instead of chasing a childhood romance that was not real to begin with. At that point, I had fully let Mal go. He could find an otkazat'sya girl that he always wanted me to be, he could retire to a farm and live a good life, but I wanted more than that.

"I feel like I want to stay here forever." I snuggled my head into the curve of his shoulder, my lips resting on his neck. "How do you feel?"

Aleksander looked at me as he moved a piece of hair from my eyes. "I feel better than I have in a long time. And I would also like to stay here forever, but unfortunately..."

"I know," I finished. "You have an army to take care of. I understand."

He watched me with a lively sparkle of some unknown emotion in his eyes. It was certainly not love quite yet, but affection or something adjacent. "Do not worry, we will have many more years to be together," Aleksander said and reluctantly slithered out from under the soft furs, gathering his crumpled clothing. After he slipped on his attire, he came back to the bed and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before leaving. I wasn't sure what this thing between us was, but I liked it.

ᗩ ᖇOᑌTIᑎE ᗷEGᗩᑎ to develop in the days of our travel to the True Sea. I would wake up, fetch breakfast and chat with the other soldiers, avoid Mal as much as possible, and wander around camp until retiring back to bed at the end of the day. Life began to feel monotonous and days felt drawn out. Especially since I rarely saw the Darkling. He was always busy making sure the trip went smoothly while also dealing with business at the Little Palace. The only moments we had time alone was when he made time to eat lunch in my tent. We would talk about the life at the palace and how our enemies were retracting from the borders for the first time in years, most likely out of fear of their countries being seized by the Fold.