My Villain, My Balance

Chapter 44: The Lie of Infinity

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝕱𝖔𝖚𝖗

ⓉᕼE ᖴOᒪᗪ SEEᗰEᗪ even more daunting up close. I looked at the wall of shadows from the carriage. We were as close as we could get by horse. We would need to walk from there. I had been in the Fold before, but this was different. It was like an intrusion on the world, something that wasn't supposed to happen. An entire country was subjected to it, and Aleksander planned to take more. I didn't exactly like his plan, but I wasn't stopping it by any means. That made me just as cruel, if not more so. I was supposed to be the one to balance Aleksander. Now, I was just his avalanche—his other equally corrupted half.

For the first time, I felt trapped. It was like my mind was crying for me to do the right thing, but then, I always did the opposite. I was wrong about the Keramzin girl being gone. She was still in there somewhere imprisoned deep within, forced to watch the cruel actions of the Sun Summoner. But the Keramzin girl wasn't strong enough to fight the effects of two amplifiers and merȥost.

Aleksander put his arm around me and helped me out of the carriage. "Do you think you can walk?" he asked. My head throbbed from standing up, but I nodded and looked up at him.

"I have no choice," I said. "We need to be in the Fold when we bind the third amplifier to ourselves."

"I could always carry you." He grinned mischievously; then, I was startled when he swooped his arms under me and held me close to his chest.

I hit him lightly, but a smile tugged at my feverish lips. "Put me down! I can walk just fine on my own."

He sighed and placed me on my feet. "Alright, but the second you so much as stumble, I'm carrying you the rest of the way."

I rolled my eyes and joined the soldiers to prepare for our journey. I tried to hide my pain so they wouldn't try to convince me to turn back, but Saints, I was suffering. My fever was getting worse, not better, and my limbs felt like they were tethered to stone bricks as I drug them along. It was clear to everyone that I was in no shape to journey into the Fold. They gave each other worried glances because I was the one who would be keeping us safe from the volcra with my light.

We stood before the vast shadow wall at the Shu Han border, ready to enter. Luckily, we didn't have to go in far. We would just need to bind Mal's bones to ourselves right before we use his power. After, if nothing goes wrong, we can move any border of the Fold from right here. I could hear the merȥost infecting my thoughts, whispering things in my ear like the devil on my shoulder. Don't think about the amount of casualties this will cause by pushing the Fold into Fjerda and Ravka. Think about the power your dead friend's bones will give you. Embrace the feeling you get when you use the Fold. Let the merȥost in—let me in.

I could hear the Keramzin girl faintly behind merȥost's calls, playing devil's advocate. What did you do! Aleksander is going to subject another country to the Fold. He is going to kill bordering Ravkan towns to make them fear you! Mal is dead. He is dead, and you can't even bring yourself to mourn him. You are too focused on taking his bones. His bones, Alina. Snap out of it!

Then, I looked ahead of us at the Unsea. It was calling to me, wanting me to go to it. The orphan girl was weak, powerless. She couldn't handle the Fold like you can, the voice said. Embrace the power. Own it.

I was about to summon light for us, but Aleksander stopped me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You aren't strong enough."

"Yes, I am!" I argued. I wasn't sure if it was my usual stubbornness or the fever talking. "I am feeling much better."