My Villain, My Balance

Chapter 42: Stay With Me

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝕿𝖜𝖔

ⓉᕼE ᑕᒪOSEᖇ ᗯE got to Dva Stolba, the worse the visions of Mal became. The Darkling came to be more irritated, not at me, but because he couldn't figure out why I kept seeing these illusions. It got to where I tried to stop informing the Darkling when or how often I had them, but he made me tell him whether it was just a flash or one that lasted for minutes at a time.

Some of the visions were so quick that I thought I might have misseen it, but other times, Mal would sit on the edge of the bed while I tried to sleep, looking down at me until I forced my eyes shut, not checking if he was still there or not.

"I think I'm going insane," I finally said one afternoon in a camp set up near Caryeva. We were close to the settlements of Dva Stolba. Another day or two and we would be there.

Aleksander looked up from his work scattered across his desk and said, "you aren't going insane, Alina."

"We can't rule that out!" I argued.

"Yes, we can. We will figure this out. We always do."

"But you said it yourself," I pointed at him. "You are able to come to me through the tether, but Mal is otkazat'sya. He couldn't be the cause of the visions, so it has to be me!"

"Or," the Darkling said with an unmistakable anger in his tone, "I have wanted to rule out this possibility out of selfishness, but maybe a piece of your heart is still with the tracker. You are more powerful than you know, Alina; you certainly have enough power to conjure up a vision out of light if you truly wanted to. Perhaps you miss him."

"No!" I shook my head vigorously. "I don't have feelings for Mal. Do you really think that?" I stared at him wide-eyed.

He slapped his quill down on the desk more aggressively than necessary. "Honestly, Alina, I don't know what I think." Was that... jealousy I saw on him? "I have lived for centuries, seen many things I've had a hard time explaining, so old feelings rekindling would hardly be a surprise to me."

I got up quickly from my chair across the tent and approached him carefully. His look was stormy, but he let me cup his face in his hands. "There are no feelings being rekindled, I promise you. My heart is yours and yours alone."

He smiled up at me, but his lips curled downward in anguish soon after. "I wish I could say that made me feel better, but this just means we have no clue as to why this is happening to you or how to stop it." He leaned into my touch, letting it soothe him. "I prefer to be the only man you see when you fall asleep."

I smiled and said, "I prefer it that way too."

I stepped away so that he could return to the work piled up on his desk, but he grabbed my hips and gently guided them forward, wanting me to sit with him. I let him hold me, leaning his forehead against mine. "Stay with me," he said. He meant it as staying with him while he finished his work, but I knew it was also a plea to not let him be replaced with Mal. Stay with me.

"Always," I whispered against his lips. I pecked at them and let my body relax into the planes of his chest. One of his long arms hooked around my waist, and the other flipped through reports and signed documents. Every time my eyes strayed beyond him and into the room, the Darkling would simply say, "at me," knowing I was looking at Mal. My gaze would return to his sharp jawline or his ice-colored eyes, ignoring the vision of Mal standing in the middle of the tent, smiling over at me then frowning when he looked at Aleksander's hand on my torso.

Then, I heard Mal's voice. It was the first time he had spoken to me in the visions. "Why did you choose him, Alina? He made you into a heartless queen without a conscience. I... I loved you," he said, his voice breaking in between.