Dear Alfred

2.3

She jumped down her window. The fall couldn't break her bones, she had tried one too many times to know. After a loud thud of her black leather boots against the pavement, she jogged ignoring the dull throb in her ankle.

The weather highlighted her puffs as she breathed in and out. She wasn't backing out this time. She could get better on her own.

Her feet slowed down and soon she walked her way, noticing the surroundings but barely registering.

It had been this way for a year now, never thinking deep into anything. If she tried it led to more. She knew what she was doing was dangerous to herself. She might explode if she tried, and maybe fear of that kept her from doing so.

But she was pleased, or so she thought.

Her thudding slowed down when she reached the party and she walked her freezing body inside the house. The smoke surrounded her senses, the music guided her heart.

The house was very familiar, but the crowd kept her hidden. She dissolved in, it was a safe feeling.

The music always had her feet shaking, but not this time. She forced the adrenaline to force her self, all in vain.

The music changed and she recognized the song. Before listening more she ran out the door.

The cold once again nipping at her skin while she continued her journey to somewhere unknown, only this time she was faster than before in an attempt to get away from old familiarity. She knew the way home. That's all she wanted to know.

She focused on her feet thudding loudly against the gravel path. Her lockets hitting against eachother. Her ragged breaths loud and clear.

She inhaled sharply, the frost chilling her insides until it became unpleasant to breathe. Her feet forced her forward.

Another party she was willing to try.

Controlling her breaths, she walked in. A smile etched on her lips as she heard the song she wasn't familiar to, finally something new.

The few steps she took led her to the drinks. Grabbing hold of a cup, she took a sip and spitted the rest out.

Her coughs were loud enough for people to notice, louder than she wanted because somebody called out. 

"Bella?" She looked around, she needed air.

She forced herself to block it out. She focused on her burning throat, the sour taste.

She ran out the door.

She was breathless, was all she could think. Much more filled her mind but she ran her legs until her mind could only plead her to stop. Her throat clenched as her eyes blurred out her surroundings.

She fought the feeling, not letting her tears fall. Pushing her legs blindly she collided to something hard. The impact hard enough to make them one, but instead she stumbled back.

Only she didn't fall due to the warmth that surrounded her back. She blinked.

Dark eyes staring into her, as confused as her own. "You alright?" She blinked some more. "You're freezing, you know that?" He chuckled out. His deep voice felt smooth to her music ridden ears.

She felt the comfort, she felt home. It made her mind pause. She pushed him back. "It was an accident."

He tilted his head to one side, a small boyish grin examining her. She cherished the warmth his gaze brought, she was indeed freezing. She moved back and he nodded his head in an unspoken agreement.

She ran again.

She was far from that place and her final stop was a house two blocks away, she would try. Her state was okay.

She wanted to stop and take a breath, the house was only two steps away. The place was huge, she noticed. She let the surroundings sink in.

Her hands were sweaty, and makeup probably a mess. This time, before she could allow herself in the house the figure before her made her want otherwise.

The figure stood with her hair straightened to perfection, and her eyes reflecting the shock.

Her hands trembled involuntarily, she had nothing to say. But she wanted to, something. Maybe a 'hey' or an 'I hope you're okay'.

Her eyes stung with unwanted tears. Her voice croaked. She whispered incoherent words before she looked away. She could see the girl before her wanted to stop her, extending a hand like her sister did.

No, she turned around once again, guiding her aching legs to a, once again, continued marathon.

She held back the tears, trying to cement her breaking wall. Moving her legs faster until she could take it no more.

The familiar neon passed her by, before she ended up at the place she didn't want. Looking at the empty road, she walked ahead under the same yellow glow.

Her lips trembled before she let out an agonizing scream, forgetting the voice that called her name and all it linked, she screamed some more, dropping on her knees.

She pushed out the face she saw, and the apology she made.

Her mouth wide as she let out distorted moans of plead. She hit her hands on the gravel path letting the pain sink in, wanting it to be all she could feel.