Left Behind

Chapter 5: Mistakes

I haven't seen Corey for almost a week after we kissed, i didn't know what to do, Jim liked me, Corey liked me, i was tangled. I liked James a lot and so did i with Corey, but i wasn't sure who i liked more. Corey had qualities that Jim didn't have and Jim had qualities that Corey didn't.

I started falling for Jim, and hard. But i wanted to talk to Corey, because i loved him too.

"Joey! Where's Corey?!" I called out.

"He's in the other bus!" Joey said, walking toward me.

"Thanks!" I said.

I walked over to the other tour bus to see Corey sitting there, seeming depressed.

"Corey? Are you okay?" I asked.

"Y-Yeah." He said, shaking his head.

"What's going on? I haven't seen you in forever." I asked.

"Yeah, i just. I heard you kissed Jim, and it just, hurt me a little." He said.

"Is that why you wouldn't talk to me?" I said.

"It's not that i didn't want to talk to you, it's just, i didn't know what to say. I feel like you don't like me and you're just telling me you do because you don't want me to feel bad about myself." He explained.

"No no no, i like you Corey, i wouldn't fuck with you like that, especially knowing about people you've been with. And to be honest, i have no idea what to do. I love both you and Jim. I don't know if your ready for that, if you know what i mean, but i have one question, why when we kissed you just panicked and left?" I said.

"Well uh, I felt like it was wrong, like halfway through, i felt like i wasn't supposed to do that. Like you were testing the water. I didn't want to ruin our friendship or ruin the chances of us like dating or something. Its just- Its hard to explain." He said.

"I wanted to do it, Corey. That's why i didn't wait for you to make a move, i just did. You scared the fuck out of me when you did that, by the way." I said. "When you didn't say anything to me for a week, i thought you hurt yourself. I kissed Jim and i knew in the back of my mind that you were going to find out. I didn't know it was going to hurt you." I said. "What did you say when you found out?"

"Well, Sid told me, Jim told Joey and he overheard, he knew I loved you so he told me. I felt really depressed, It broke my heart. I almost did drugs again, but I remembered what you told me, and how much you said you loved me, and I didn't. When you told me that, I thought we had a chance, but when you kissed Jim I felt like it was ripped away from me. I love you so much Stephanie. More than I've ever loved anybody in my life." He said, choking up.

"I love you too Corey, I love you so much. Don't ever think I don't love you for a second, I've loved you since the first day i met you. You might not know how long I've loved you for, but i love you Corey, I really do." I said, putting a hand on his neck.

"I don't know whats next." He said, his face flushing a deep shade of red.

"You know exactly what you want, Corey." I said, smiling.

"What do i want then?" He questioned.

"Me." I said.

"Well, uh." He gulped. "I do, but..I don't know if you want that." He said.

I place my hand on his chest and felt his heart racing.

"Goddamn, why is your heart pounding?" I asked.

"Because im nervous." He chuckled.

I leaned in and kissed his lips softly.

"Now you can calm down." I said smiling.

Corey threw his head back and covered his smile with his hands. I placed my hand gently on his chest and his heart definitely slowed.

"And to answer your question, yes, i do want to have a relationship with you, you give me the reactions i want." I laughed.

A thought hit me in the head like a slap in the face. What would Jim say about this? Would he be upset?

"Corey." I mumbled.

"Hm?" A low hum escaped his throat.

"Im scared, what is Jim going to say? He told me he loved me and thats why I kissed him. I'm scared that im going to forget that I'm with you or something and then I kiss him." I panicked.

"You should go talk to him." He said, calming me down.

"Okay. You aren't mad?" I asked.

"No, why would i be?" He said, his voice suspiciously monotone.

"I don't know, Corey, I'm madly in love with you. But Jim is something else." I said, loosening the tension easily.

The way his hair flew in the wind, the way his soft eyes looked down at me, the way his voice flowed out of his mouth, the way his lips touched mine, all these things were the reasons why I loved him so much, I didn't know if Jim would be able to compare.

I walked back to the first bus where Jim and Joey were, opened the door and heard Jim tuning his guitar.

"Hey James." I said.

"Whats up Steph?" Jim said, standing up.

"I need to talk to you." I said.

"Alright, you can tell me anything." He said.

"So, I love Corey, and he loves me, but i love you, James, and I know you like me, so if I dated Corey, would you be mad at me." I asked.

"Absolutely not. I would be happy for you, not a hint of anger in my body." He said.

"That's all i wanted to ask." I laughed.

"Yeah, i wouldn't be mad." He said.

"Thanks." I smiled as i walked out the door to tell Corey.

"Hey baby, we're dating now." I said.

"Oh yeah?" He lit up.

"Yeah!" I said smiling.

"I love you so much." Corey said, kissing me.

"I love you too." I said kissing him back.