Gojo Satoru Oneshots

Punchline

It wasn't often everyone mutually agreed on taking a little break here and there. This was one of those times, everyone agreeing to hold a little staff party of sorts at Jujutsu High to wind down. Though, perhaps using the word 'staff' wasn't exactly the correct word to describe what was going on. It was more like... half staff, half professional sorcerers, and a few odd people sprinkled in here and there that were well liked and involved with a lot of the current goings on. It was more of a standard party hiding behind that staff title, everyone crammed into a large classroom with snacks, drinks, and bad jokes galore.

You of course only showed up for the booze. It was free, and you couldn't say no to free drinks. It was at the cost of having to be in Gojo's presence though, which was high risk in general. You had been desperately trying to avoid him for months now in an attempt to smother out the strange crush you had started to curate for the man, and now you were to be in the same room with him for hours possibly. You'd have to do a lot of avoiding tonight if you wanted to keep that secret behind bars. God knows what you'd say if you had enough to drink.

Unfortunately for you, it seemed that Gojo had other plans. The man followed you around everywhere you went like a lost puppy, making it harder and harder to not say something to him. Even though you hid behind your fellow colleagues, no one could stop him from seeking you out and having his way. He was practically stuck to you like glue, always doing something silly in an attempt to break your composure and get something out of you. Hiding with Utahime would not help you this time.

"Satoru please. Must you be such a terror?" You questioned the man as he very poorly leaned on a wall next to you.

"What? I'm not doing anything~" He replied innocently.

Gojo sipped from a red solo cup as if he were the suavest master of the party. Despite wearing his blindfold you could just tell he was staring intently at you. Whether it was a stare of admiration or a stare of pure idiocy, you couldn't tell. He was a lightweight, so it could be anything really.

"Then why do you keep following me around, hmm?"

"Is it a crime to hang out around my favourite person?? Ugh! How cruel you are to me!" Gojo whined, pressing himself against the wall before sliding down it dramatically.

"My god you're only two drinks in and you're already like this." You sighed.

"It's like he's one of those tropical birds." Utahime chimed in.

"How so?" You asked.

"Well, he's hovering around you, refuses to go away, and is still doing his little performative antics. It's like his version of a mating dance." She chuckled, gesturing to Gojo currently sipping his drink from where he laid on the floor.

"... Oh my god you're right." You groaned.

"You shouldn't mind too much though right? That's a good thing for your case~" She mumbled just loud enough for you to hear.

"Shh! You're supposed to help me dammit!" You hissed.

Both of you muttered back and forth between each other, Utahime knowing exactly how intense your little crush actually was while you denied every statement she made. While you two bickered on, Gojo had found himself disliking the lack of attention that was on him. It wasn't enough, and that frown you wore was still prevalent as ever. With both of these things taken into consideration, Gojo decided to make sure the attention was back on him, and try and get a smile out of you while he was at it. That had been his goal for the whole night anyway.

Some time amidst everyone's conversations, Gojo had snuck past everyone to the table where drinks were left out to be taken. There was a huge punch bowl in the center of the table, and he had taken to standing right smack in the middle of the table with his feet planted on either side of said bowl, wailing like a lost child. He caught everyone's attention, including yours, while he dipped the ladle down into the punch bowl and refilled his cup in the most immature and dramatic way possible, whooping like an animal.