Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 139♡

(Pheobe's P.O.V)

I was now 5 weeks along. Getting the card, I wrote in it. Finn was coming home in about an hour. The sickness had calmed down a lot. I was now just craving yogurt a lot. Mom had advised me a lot. The girls had been great. Putting the test in the card, I went to go and have a quick shower. The water felt great on my skin. Hearing my phone, I saw that it was the girls video calling me. Getting out, I wrapped the towel around my body. I saw my little bump. "Hey buddy or sweetheart. Mommy is so looking forward to meeting you.' Returning the video call, all the ladies said hi. "Hey girls!" Nina seemed excited. "She has news!" Alex piped up. "So, I'm.. engaged!!!!" She showed off her ring. "OH MY GOSH! Congratulations girl!" Liv commented. "That's amazing news! I'm so pleased for you." Faye then said that she was seeing Adam tomorrow. "Are you looking forward to it?" She blushed. "Yes I am." We said that she was going to be just fine. "We can already tell that you like him a lot. He seems really nice." Faye said that she was a bit nervous. "That's natural. Just be yourself." Nina smiled. "So, how's our new niece or nephew doing?" I grinned.

"It's nice being able to just relax really. And he or she is doing good. I have my first scan soon." Amanda asked us if they had noticed Carisi's behaviour lately. "He's been acting strange and he's always off trying to complete things." The thing is, we all knew that he was going to propose. "I'm sure whatever he's planning is sweet." Amanda smiled. "That's true. Jessie and Billie are in on it as well." Changing the subject, Pheobe asked about Evie. "She's good. She's hoping to start dating again actually. We have a friend called Jay who she's interested in." The girls said that was so sweet.

"I'm actually going to finish off getting ready so I will message you ladies later. Love you all!" After they left the call, I finished my hair off. I heard the front door. "Hey Pheebs." Picking up the card, I headed downstairs. "Hey." Kissing him, he hugged me. As he walked into the kitchen, I made him a drink. "How was the rest of your day?" He then sat down. I felt so nervous. I wonder if he was even ready to have a child. Placing the card on the table, I sat next to him.. "What's this?" I blushed. I adored every part of him. "Open it and you'll see." Clasping my hands together, he opened the card.

To my lovely, kind, sweet, handsome, caring boyfriend.. I love you so much. I remember us talking about our future and what we both see in it. I see you as my forever. I just wanted to give you an extra speical person to add to that future...

He picked up the test.. I cried.. "Is... this.?" I nodded. He came over to hug me. "Yes it is." He kissed me. Again and Again. "This is the most amazing thing ever Pheebs. I love you." I held his hand. "You're so sweet." After we had some food, he asked how my mom took the news. "She's so excited! She can't wait." He just gazed at me.. "I'll have my own little prince or princess to gaze at. Life is going very well for is right now." Laying on the couch, he wrapped his arm around me.

(Ariel's P.O.V)
Sitting in my bedroom, I looked at the time. I dreaded going to sleep.. so I avoided doing just that.. by reading. Hearing a knock on my bedroom door, I asked who it was. "It's Dad."
Opening it, he asked if I was ok. "I'm fine." He then said that he would be down the hall if I needed him or Mom. "Thanks. Night. I love you." He said that he loved me too. Getting back into bed, I started reading my book. Taking deep breaths, I tried to focus. "Erugh!' Throwing my book on my bed, I laid down. There were scars on my arm. I must of scratched it in my sleep. I saw marks. Checking my bedside draw, I saw that it had been emptied. Going to find Mom, I knocked on their bedroom door. "Mom.. I can't sleep. Did you empty my bedside draw?" She took me back into my room. "Yes I did sweetheart." Pacing up and down, Mom poiletly asked me to just take a deep breath. "Just listen to my voice baby girl. You can do this." Keeping up with my breathing, mom kept talking to me. "I emptied it because your therapist advised me to take out any sharp objects. Me and your dad really don't want you to put yourself in any danger Ari.."

I sat on my bed. "I. Just. Need. Sleep." Mom then held me in her arms. "It's the cold sweats isn't it?" I nodded. "I just had such a good day with Jason and now I can't sleep. Will it be like this forever?" Mom promised that how I was feeling was normal. "You're in your own bedroom. That's the first step." I looked up at her. "How about we just try laying down together?" I cried a little bit. "Please don't leave me." She held my hand. "I won't go anywhere. Not until you're settled." Doing just that, Mom laid next to me. Stroking her fingers through my hair, she comforted me as I cried myself to sleep. "I.. love.. you.. Mom." She held me. "I love you too baby girl. I mean that." As I felt my eyes close, Mom reassured me. "You're ok Ariel. You're ok. I'm here." My eyes then started watering. 'I'm tired.' She cuddled me. 'Shh.. shh..' I eventually fell asleep. It was exhausting. But, i'm really happy that Mom stayed with me. I felt her hand link with mine. 'I knew that you were going to be my daughter when I met you. You were so sad, yet so strong. I knew that me and your father had to take care of you.' My eyes fluttered open. 'Dawson hurt me over and over again for years. He tried to hurt my other mom..' Mom then squeezed my hand. 'That's why I am grateful for you, Dad and my siblings.' Mom kissed my forehead. 'You are honestly such a special young lady.' I then drifted off with Mom holding me. I felt beads of sweat cover my forehead.. 

4 hours later... 

(Flashback)

Authour's note: 

Mention of mental health.. You are amazing and worthy of life..

'Mom..' I was sat outside school. I'd just ran off and she had been called. She didn't need to be here. I was perfectly fine. 'Why are you even here?' Mom sat down with me on the bench. I distanced myself away from her. 'I am here because Ms Verne thinks that you're skipping class.' I laughed. 'I just can't be bothered to go Mom. I'm going through this thing.. called trauma. I want to smoke. I want to drink. I wanted things to end..'  Mom turned to look at me. 'Sweetheart.. look at me.' She took my hand. 'What do you mean Ari?' I sighed. Cried. 'I've got more stuff. I'm sick of relieving what I went through.' Mom then started crying. 'Is this why you've been skipping class?' I admitted it. 'Yes. I lock myself in the school toilets. Every day is a struggle. Paige asks me if I''m ok and I have to lie and say that things are ok.' Mom hugged me. Reassured me.. I fought her hug.. 'Just STOP it! I cannot stand being around Dad either. He's too invasive.' Running off, I heard Mom call me. 'Ari! We want to help you.'  I hid near the tree so that she couldn't see me. Calling my dealer, I continued to walk near the subway stop.. 

End of Flashback.. 

'Mom.. Dawson.. no. I need stuff... I wanna run..' Mom calmed me down.. 'Ari, you're just having a moment.' I kept crying. 'I want my tablets. Why can't you just listen to me?' Sitting up, I told her to get out of my bedroom. 'Please just go.' Mom could see the state that I was in. 'I can't leave you like this Ariel.' I so just wanted to get my stuff and run. But, I couldn't do that. 'Fine. I have bad thoughts. Thoughts where I wanna damage my own skin. I feel like I'm not capable of even living..' Mom held me. I really wanted to shrug her off. 'You are going to get through this babygirl. We all love you so much.' I knew that deep down. 'I'm exhausted. I don't know how to stop it.' We went to lay down again. 'Well, you have been free of your addictions  for a few days now which is fantastic.' I then told her that I wanted to see Claire again.

 'You're going to see her next week. You just tell her how you're feeling. Your dad will be there to support you too.' She also said that we could talk to Anna as well. 'Well done for telling me how your'e feeling regarding your mental health.' Mom stayed with me all evening. 'I've got you. Mom has you sweetie.' 

Finally falling asleep. Mom kept her promise. She stayed with me all night.