In Her Eyes The Violets lie

Chapter 7

No. No, don't— don't go, Hope." Josie stammered. But Hope didn't listen, she just went inside and shut Josie out. As Josie stood there in front of the bedroom door she realized this was worse, so much worse then when Hope left three years ago. Because this time Josie knows exactly what hurt Hope; Josie is the one who hurt Hope with her anger and her words. There is so much pain in Josie's chest she can't breathe, all she wanted to do was hurt herself. The physical pain will take away the uncomfortable pain in her heart. Maybe that'll work, but it won't be worth it.

The next morning when Hope woke up Josie was on her 18th cup of coffee—What she really wanted was a cigarette but if she started now she wouldn't be able to stop before 20—She couldn't sleep so she decided to drink as much coffee as she could and dich sleep all together.
When Hope entered the kitchen Josie offered her a bowl of oatmeal. Hope took it but didn't meet Josie's eyes or say anything, leaving Josie to start the conversation. "Hope, I'm sorry," Josie reached out to grab Hope's hand as she was about to leave but hesitated. She couldn't hold Hope's hand, that'd be too much…."I was an asshole last night. I'm sorry please....stay."

Hope stopped and turned around, "What?"

"I want you to stay."
"We...uh... have a family gathering this weekend. You should come with me."  Josie spoke without thinking. She wasn't even sure if she was going to the gathering, now she has invited Hope as well. Great. "No, I couldn't possibly go. Your whole family will be there." Said Hope.

"Exactly! My relatives are going to fry my brain off if I go alone."  Josie pleaded.  "Please Hope, come with me. I'm sorry, I didn't really give you a chance before. But I want to. I do want us to be friends again."  I want to give us a chance again. "Stay and I promise I will do my best to make things right again."
"Are you serious?"Hope asked.
"Of course I am."
"Okay." Hope said, hesitantly.
"What?"
"I'll stay…. till next Sunday."
Josie could kiss her right now but that would be…. ill-advised. So she just grinned like an absolute fool.

After they had breakfast together Josie got ready for work. Hope was still sitting at the table, sketching on a notepad, her hands moving with purpose, her eyebrows furrowed. There was a strange feeling in Josie's heart, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Josie cleared her throat, "Hey, I actually have to go to work today, will you be okay here?"
"Yeah, sure I'll be fine. I think I'll look around town for a bit ; So much has changed since I was here last time." Hope said, looking up.
"Well then, you should come by the bookstore around 12, we can have lunch together. There is an amazing cafe down the road from there."
"Okay, see you at 12 then."

Josie entered the bookshop to find Mei sitting in Josie's usual spot, the front desk. Mei was doing something on the computer but looked up when she heard Josie come in, "Hi!" Josie said before Mei could. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, yeah. I didn't burn anything down while you were gone." Mei looked at her with curious eyes, "What happened to you?"
"Why? Is there something on my face?"
"No,no. You just look…. happy?" Mei gave her a weary look. Josie laughed, "It's nothing."

"Okay," Mei said. Josie could tell she still wasn't convinced but Mei didn't ask a question twice. Mei was always like this, like she couldn't care less about anything or anyone but herself. But she does care about stuff, she cares about Josie, Josie knows that but Mei would rather jump off a cliff than admit that she cares. "The new shipment is here, sort them, please."
"Yes, Boss"
"Don't call me that." Mei said, annoyed. Josie knows Mei hates it when Josie calls her boss, but she does it sometimes to annoy Mei. "Okay, Boss."
"Fuck off, Josie"
Josie grinned and went off to where the boxes were kept, she had to sort the new books by their genre. There were roughly 1000 books to sort so this is gonna be a long day. She wondered what Hope was doing. Was she at the new park? Or was she at their old high school or the hidden waterfall they used to go to? Josie hoped she was okay, there are a lot of thefts happening around the old roads. Shit! She was so distracted this morning she forgot to tell Hope about the thefts! Josie quickly grabbed her phone and called Hope.
"Hi, Josie?" Hope said.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry I forgot to tell you that there are a lot of thefts happening around the old roads. So don't go there, okay?
"Woah woah, Josie, breath. I'm fine." Hope replied, "Thanks for telling me though, I was actually going to go there." 
"Oh," Josie sighed in relief, Hope was okay. "Hey if you really want to go, we can go together sometime. It's just not safe to go alone, you know."
"Sure, I'd like to go with you." Hope replied, "Anyway, how's work going?"
"Oh, it's going fine, sorting books."
"Sounds fun," Hope chuckled. "I'll leave you to it then."
"Yeah, right okay, bye."

~~~

After ordering, they both sat at a table waiting for their food. Even with the rush of people coming and going through the cafe, the noise of people ordering and baristas calling people's names, there was an awkward silence between Hope and Josie. They were both looking at each other observantly, but not for too long, Hope broke eye contact first. It was too much, looking at those beautiful brown eyes Hope was afraid her eyes would give her away, if she let Josie look her in the eye a second longer. It's always been like this since she realized her feelings for Josie, she could never keep eye contact with her for long.
Hope could feel Josie's eyes watching her, she loved and hated this at the same time. Hope loves how attentive Josie is but she also feels bare under Josie's gaze.

Josie finally broke the silence with, "Landon dumped me."
"What?" Hope asked, confused and a little shocked at what she'd just heard.
"Last night you asked why we broke up, we didn't break up, he broke up with me."
"So, you didn't want to?"
"No—I mean, it was bound to happen, but I probably would have dragged our relationship out longer, trying to salvage it and would've gotten both of us hurt in the process." Josie said all of this so lightly, Hope could tell she wasn't hung up on Landon.
Hope thought that the breakup was mutual or that it was Josie who ended things. The thought of Landon being the one to do it had never occurred to her. Landon was very much in love with Josie, Hope didn't understand what changed. She wanted to ask the same question she asked last night, but after how that turned out she doesn't want to ruin what they have right now. "Anyways, what about you?" Josie asked, the ends of her mouth turning up a little, "Did you finally find your someone?"

How was Hope going to find her someone, when she already left them behind? "Nah," but then she smiled remembering Cleo. "But I did find someone close to that, she's a friend." An emotion Hope couldn't quite place passed Josie's eyes, then Josie smirked "A friend,"
Hope rolled her eyes,"Just a friend."

"Well, tell me more about this friend." Josie seemed sincere, like she genuinely wanted to know, there was no jealousy in her tone, Hope always loved this about her; Josie wasn't ever jealous and if she is she hides it like a pro, Hope has never been able to do that. "Her name is Cleo. We met in freshman year of college, we both have sculpture classes together. We were paired together, the first thing she said to me was "Mind your own business, don't mess with my work or I'll bury you under the willow tree by the lake." I decided right then that if I had to make a friend in this college it would be her." Hope laughed, Josie gave her an amused smile, "What did you tell her, then?"

"I had to make you proud, so I told her that behind the library would be a better spot." Josie's smile widened. Josie always loved crime thrillers, especially the ones with the killers pov and she would tell Hope about all these elaborate murder plans she read about. She talked about them so much that it became a tradition for them to come up with plans of their own, like: how would you get rid of a body, which poison works the fastest etc. Cleo reminded her of Josie, with her threats and true crime obsession.
"I'm glad you have a friend there." Said Josie, did Josie's voice catch or was Hope hearing things? Hope wanted to tell Josie that no one could ever take her place, not even Cleo, that she'd missed her, that a day didn't pass without her thinking of Josie. But Hope lost the right to say stuff like that when she left, and Josie will not hesitate to tell her that.

A/N
This one is long. Hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you for reading :)