Empress of Self-Ruin

Chapter 3: The Price of Loving You Was Death

"So, that's your answer?" Constantine asked.

I just nodded; I didn't trust myself to speak.

He shrugged. "Fine, if that's what you want." He turned to his aide and commanded, "Prepare a public execution for the empress tomorrow."

They were talking about my execution, but I didn't give any reaction. Maybe I just didn't care anymore.

"Give the empress a proper execution," he said to his aide and then turned to me; a sickening smile on his angelic face. "I'll at least let you die in honor. That's the only mercy I can give you."

Mercy? Don't make me laugh. I'm not that naive.

It was obvious the only reason he would give me a proper execution was for his own satisfaction—to show off his power and authority over even someone like me.

But it doesn't matter anymore. Why does it matter when I'm about to die anyway?

At least I can finally have a peaceful rest knowing I've tried my best until the end.

***

The open field where the execution would take place glittered that day. Sunlight conjured the most brilliant of mosaics, reflecting from each leaf and wisp of cloud as if delighting in the art they created.

It was a fine day for sure, from the warm sun to the cheerful birdsong. A fine day to die.

Oh, how ironic...

Constantine had ordered the maids to bathe me first thing in the morning and dress me in something neat and presentable. They had to refit it since I had lost a lot of weight over the past few days, and covered the bruises on my face with cosmetics.

It didn't look bad, but it wasn't my style. If only Mary... ah, I forgot. She was no longer in this world. Constantine had already killed her as well as everyone else at the palace still loyal to me.

It was midday by the time they were done. The maids were solemn when the guards came and took me to the town square at the heart of the capital. A lot of things kept playing in my head as I walked—Arsen, my father, my mother, my upcoming demise... it got colder and colder as I neared the platform.

Ah, my baby.

I suddenly remembered the child that I lost.

I'm sorry for being such an incapable mother. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. If God allows, let's meet again in our next life.

"You look great," Constantine commented as soon as he saw me.

He was just about to escort me to the platform himself when suddenly one of his aides approached and whispered something to him.

He spoke in a low voice, but I could still hear his words since I was standing right next to him. Apparently, Lady Phoebe had just collapsed due to a fever.

Constantine's eyes widened, worry apparent on his handsome face. I never thought he was capable of making such an expression, and I regretted witnessing it; the small glimpse of humanity in him. There was simplicity in slaying a monster, but there was a great horror in realizing that there were no true monsters, just human men who were capable of joy and caring and still did monstrous things.

The duke barked at his aide to continue with the execution before shoving his men out of the way and disappearing back toward the castle. In the end, he left my execution to his aide and I bet, immediately went to see Lady Phoebe.

I didn't know if I should be happy or sad. All I could do was stare bitterly at my enemy's back. It was a strange feeling, but I wanted him to witness my death. I wanted to show him that even if I die, I would not yield to him, so at least my death wouldn't be in vain. But now...