Empress of Self-Ruin

Chapter 12: The Villain That Breathes Within Me

I was drained after my rather dramatic meeting with my father and uncle. It was so fucking tiring and my annoying uncle surely didn't make it easier. I would take the snobby nobles any day over them, but at least it was finally over and it had turned out pretty well for me.

I sneered at the sky as I walked back to my palace, entourage in tow.

Why the hell is the weather always so good whenever I'm in a bad mood? I'm starting to miss cloudy skies. Whenever the heroine is sad, the skies cry along with her.

Ah, that's right...

It was a good day even then... the day I was executed—as if the sky was celebrating my misfortune.

I sighed and looked down at my hands, glaring hatefully at the red scratch wounds on my pale skin—marks from when I had dug my nails into my palms at the trial hall.

The rest of the world can go to hell. I will do whatever it takes to change the course of this book world. I will even move heaven and earth to see it done.

***

I sat alone in my bedroom, staring blankly into the fireplace. Its golden flame danced across the room, bringing a radiant glow into the otherwise gloomy atmosphere, but even that couldn't make me feel any less bitter.

Though I must have looked calm on the outside, thanks to years of perfecting my mask, my mind was in chaos. All the stress from this whole regression thing that I had managed to put aside these past few days was suddenly hitting me once again.

That fucking disgusting little book.

If I recall its content correctly, Phoebe wouldn't be conceiving Electra until her second copulation with Arsen, which means I could still prevent Electra from being born.

I wanted to laugh at my own thoughts, or perhaps cry.

Electra turned back time with the hope of a happier life, so if I prevent her from being born, would it mean I kill her?

Probably.

From her point of view, I might be as good as a murderer.

Funnily, the evil thought filled me with excitement instead of guilt.

Most people might feel awful about destroying a child's dream, but that damnable saint was the one who put us into this mess in the first place.

Hah, so much for being the empress... Even though I was supposed to be the most powerful woman in the empire, the world didn't stop for me when I was in a bad mood, and yet it turned back time just so that little bitch could have her happy ending. How unfair is that?

Before I could think further, Eli entered my bedroom with a tray of my favorite tea and dessert. We drank together. She seemed worried about me, but I told her I was fine and just tired.

"Say, Eli..." I started. "What do you think... about taking someone's life for revenge?"

Her caramel-brown eyes widened at my words. She froze for a second before replying, "May I ask why Your Majesty is asking such a thing?"

"No reason. It just popped into my head. It's an interesting question, isn't it?"

She sighed and shook her head. "In my opinion, we don't have the right to take anyone's life. We can't breathe life into a dead person, so we shouldn't be able to take away the life of a living person. Life is precious."

Ah... See?

That was the typical reaction.

Eli was someone with a good heart, so the idea of killing someone—no matter the reason—must be horrible to her.