ꗃ﹕❜ Minerva ❯❯ A review shop [2.0]

×. ❜Ballat Dancers [Rev. Cass]

BOOK NAME: Ballet Dancers

AUTHOR:  heyimAnie

REVIEWER: notyour_unnie

COVER: (02/05)

I would say that the cover is quite subjective, and it might come off differently to different people. However, I suppose the picture used was way too dark, and is inapt for the plot, which is quite light-hearted. Moreover, the picture is also quite illegible, and it takes an individual a bit of scrutiny to make out the contents of the picture. Try using a brighter picture that accurately delivers the requisite vibes for commencing the story. Also, try toning down the text for the author’s name; it seems a bit too flashy and it should be smaller than the title.

TITLE: (03/05)

The title is an adherent of the plot, and I suppose it’s quite apposite. It seems unfathomably aesthetic, and grasps my attention. However, it could have a more conspicuous connection with the plot. Moreover, the title is not remarkably rare, and it doesn’t take a lot of contemplation for the audience to scroll past something entitled so. Be innovative, and fish for a more inviting title.

SYNOPSIS: (04/10)

Though I am not a fanatic of descriptive blurbs in particular, the synopsis allotted to this story fails to satiate the essential elements requisite in all blurbs in general. If you wish for your story to stand out amidst the thousands of other stories hailing from similar genres, I would suggest you compose a fresh, alluring blurb. The blurb should not give away too much, but should give the reader a fair idea on the basic elements they should anticipate from the story.  If you prefer using single-line blurbs, you should make sure that it will suffice to draw in adequate attention.

EXECUTION: (04/10)

If your audience were ones to judge books solely by their covers (and exterior), your story would have amassed a trivial lot. The elements discussed so far desperately seek refurbishment. Though the exterior somewhat efficiently delivers the primal aspects of the story, there has been negligible effort in making it alluring. I have enlisted all possible amends I deem beneficial, and I expect you to modify your work accordingly.

PLOT: (13/20)

In all honesty, there is nothing exceptionally remarkable or noteworthy delivered by the plot so far. However, I suppose the base you have chosen doesn’t quite permit you to build a lot of convolutions, as the terminal is already pre-defined. Whilst intently going through the story, one can spot the conspicuous deficiency in efficient plot building. The story does not quite imprint us any striking essence or emotions, when it was sufficiently potent to do so. Romance intermingled in dancing is perhaps one of the most exciting concepts one can choose to act upon, and you did so, but just not creatively enough. Proof-read the story, and ask yourself for amends. If you were an indulgent reader, which intricacies in this story would excite you most? Make the changes conferring to your own taste.

WRITING STYLE: (10/20)

While someone’s writing style is not generally an aspect to be judged, I must mention that it is a bit too abrupt. While I am not insisting you to unnecessarily bloat the story with descriptive accounts, kindly elaborate on the sections where it is requisite. The writing style seems malnourished; devoid of almost every element that makes one’s writing appealing. Try to convey more emotions via your writing, being mindful of every aspect that will contribute in keeping the audience glued. If you require more details on this pedagogy, you may PM me.

GRAMMAR & VOCABULARY: (11/10)

No eminent or incredible implementation of vocabulary has been made in the book. Au contraire, I am compelled to assert that the writing style is somewhat insipid, and some words have not been efficiently used. Expand your vocabulary, and I suppose the only means by which one can do so is by reading more books (not mediocre e-books, but physical, published books written by good authors). As for grammatical errors, the story was inflated with them. Revise the capitalization of letters. Use commas to break the sentence into parts, as it seems delivered all together otherwise. Punctuate the story adequately, especially the action and verbal tags. Use your ellipsis properly, which is supposed to be a set of only three dots (…).

CHARACTERS & DEVELOPMENT: (06/10)

The character development observed in the story is mediocre. The leads were not very striking, nor did they visibly outshine the other characters. I rather liked the female lead, though. Her persona was the queerest of the lot, and she was quite lovable. Coming to developments, I fail to spot any major ones. However, I must acknowledge that the story is yet to be completed, and perhaps major development might occur in the future, which I look forward to.
TOTAL:  (53/100)

FINAL NOTE:

I rather enjoyed the story, and am grateful to be introduced to it. I may have been a tad bit harsh in this review, but I hope you can endure it. Trust me; I genuinely feel that these amends will help your story in standing out. Looking forward to updates! FInally, if you require any aid, I am just a PM away!