ꗃ﹕❜ Minerva ❯❯ A review shop [2.0]

×. ❜Delusion JJK [Rev. Cey]

Book Name: Delusion JJK

Author:  iMeGiNeSoN

Reviewer: Cey ( ceyshells )

Cover: 2/05

Based on the introductory chapter, I believe the current cover is an updated one as the banners don't match. The cover is good, matching the title of the story, displaying the main character prominently, but it isn't the most complicated design.

Title: 4/05

Simple one word title, but holds a lot of meaning. I like the link that the title has to the cover, as the filter used seems to match a delusional, slightly out of mind state.

Synopsis: 8/10

Before I start on the details, I would like to state that I was unable to read the synopsis on my phone. Some devices do not support certain fonts, and that was the case with mine. No deduction of marks for this, but do take note of this.

The blurb is written well, with only a few spelling errors.

Separation not sepration
Led not lend

The second paragraph has a slight run on.

"Nothing, I was just sick of our sepration but I'm taking meds."

Edited: "Nothing. I was just sick of our separation, but I'm taking meds."

Execution: 7/10

Overall, the book was well written and doesn't lack progression. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, not just through the eye of a reviewer, but also as a reader.

Plot: 15/20

Jungkook is haunted by his ex-girlfriend, not because she's dead, but because she left her presence around him, making him feel as though she were there… when she was not. It's hard for outsiders to understand his situation, even if those outsiders are his fellow group members. As a bit more is revealed each chapter, we find out more about what Kook is going through.

Romance stories are common, "psycho" stories are not rare either, and delusional romance stories are not an unseen concept. However, every story has something unique about them, and even if a story has been done and told before, another author would tell it differently. Therefore, plot wise, the story idea is common, but the story itself is one of its kind.

Writing Style: 17/20

Right from the start, the chapters were pretty long. Normally, long chapters are not my cup of tea, as they tend to lose their pace midway. This was not the case with this story. It was paced well and though information might be given out in larger chunks, it is still acceptable and understandable by the reader.

In the first chapter, there weren't any pov changes. However, there were multiple changes in the second. Although it is alright to have multiple pov changes, it can become confusing for the reader if repeated too much. The amount of changes you have is not too many, which is good.

A rule of thumb that I like to apply for my own writing is to read it as though I were the reader. If I find reading my own writing difficult, a reader who does not have any idea about the story and its plot would be even more confused.

Grammar and Vocabulary: 16/20

I have nothing to say grammar wise. The story was well written with almost no mistakes. There are a few mistakes around, but those are minor errors.

Example: To ease him a bit Jin offers,"Here!
(missing comma, no space between the , and ". It can also be changed to a colon)

Edited: To ease him a bit, Jin offers: "Here!

Other errors to take note: beware of run-on sentences, spelling errors and missing punctuation, especially commas. Another small issue, make sure your ellipses have three full stops, not two or four.

I have not much to say vocabulary wise either, as this is something that grows with practice. The words used suit the story, though individually there could be more appropriate ones.

Characters and Development: 7/10

In the first chapter, we meet Namjoon, Jin and Jungkook. Within it, we learn not much about Jin or Namjoon, but we learn a lot about Jungkook, which is understandable since he's the main character.

Jin is referred to as a doctor, likely a psychiatrist since he deals with mental disorders. Other than his occupation and some various quips suggesting his mixed cheekiness and formality based working style, he doesn't reveal much of his feelings other than telling Namjoon he should not be calling Kook psychotic.

Namjoon portrays a slightly bad image from the start. It is implied he called him something along the lines of a maniac, and could have worsened his condition (?). He does feel bad about what he said, which shows he can reflect on his actions and improve.

Jungkook suffers from anxiety: he feels his ex-girlfriend's presence around despite her not actually being there. He expresses emotions variedly, ranging from happiness to sadness, anger to confidence, literally a full spectrum in a matter of minutes. He's the most developed of the first characters introduced, and with good reason.

Next, we meet Jungkook's parents, or at least their voices. They worry and care for their son, and although their doubts and worries are clarified and taken care of, they still worry, as any parent does. However, Jin and Namjoon seem to feel better off hiding the truth about their son's anxiety from them.

Within the second chapter, other than the parents, we also encounter Jimin and Taehyung. They're always at heads with each other, bickering.

Hoseok is first introduced as the guy who married Kook's ex-girlfriend.

All in all, not too many characters are introduced, and enough elaboration is done on certain characters that they do not appear stagnant.

Total: 76/100

Additional Notes: Hello @iMaGiNeSoN, thank you for applying in my review slots! I hope this will be helpful in improving your story and feel free to ask me any questions to clarify your doubts. :)