ꗃ﹕❜ Minerva ❯❯ A review shop [2.0]

×. ❜A Whole New World [Rev. Cey]

Book Name: A Whole New World

Author:  IcecreamSundae5

Reviewer: Cey ( ceyshells )

Cover: 3/05

Based on a first impression, the cover is simple but nice. However, it doesn't have a lot of details as to what the book theme is except for a girl and a guy holding ice creams on the cover. In a way, what they do does not tie into the book title.

Title: 2/05

Speaking of the title: it's nice, but it's really cliche and commonly found.

Synopsis: 7/10

The blurb is extremely long but isn't too detailed, allowing the reader to understand the gist of the story without getting spoilers. There's some paragraphing errors as well. The "Yes!" should be located on a paragraph of its own.

Execution: 6/10

Overall, the book was well executed, except for grammatical errors and a lack of character emotions.

Plot: 13/20

Not gonna lie, this plot is as cliche as the title makes it sound. Girl reads a book with a character of the same name, gets into an accident and finds herself in the body of said character. Swapped lives is a commonly seen trope, but nevertheless, the plot was well executed. I also liked that you tweaked it slightly by wanting the main character to help the character in the book.

Writing Style: 14/20

The author's writing style is really informal, very much a teen fiction novel style. It was well executed, though this style of writing is not to my taste. The point of view tends to change with each new chapter, which I appreciate. Having a pov change in the middle of the chapter can cause confusion. Unfortunately, there was such a change midway through chapter 2.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 13/20

Some capitalisation errors midsentence. Instances of punctuation errors.

Eg: Chocolate Ice cream.
Edited: Chocolate ice cream. (there is no need to capitalise ice. This mistake occurs a lot!)

I Googled the nearest Ice cream shop.
(there are two capitalisation errors in this sentence.)

Eg: Actually, rest.
Edited: Actually rest. (A comma between the two words sounds weird. If the intention is for emphasis, I would change it to "Actually. Rest." Also, I would combine this line with the previous one: I can rest. Actually rest.)

There were also some tense errors.

Ready to snuck out of the house.

Edited: Read to sneak out of the house.
(Make sure your tense is constant!)

As an author myself, a rule of thumb I follow is to start each sentence in a paragraph with a different word. That way, it sounds less repetitive. Thus, the vocabulary choice isn't the best.

Characters & Development: 3/10

As of now, I've only been personally introduced to both Zees and Nick.

I'm a little disappointed in the character aspect. You hear the thoughts of the characters, you see what they do, you know what they're feeling if you relate to their experience, but they all lack feelings, they feel flat.

A sentence such as "I looked around the room." sounds like a description. It's alright, but it can be better.

Edited: I whirled around, desperately taking in everything around me.
(from this, you can sense that Zee is slightly panicked due to finding herself in an unknown body)

Total: 61/100

Additional Notes: Hello @IcecreamSundae5, thank you for applying in my review slots! I hope this will help you to improve your story, keep up the great work!