EIM PART 2-Chapter 22 : Next Life

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I always felt as if there was something odd about my family. I can't stand even being in the same room as my mom, and I can not control how much I hate my dad. They always do their own thing and ignore me. Any time they do want my attention or approval, they always buy me something first before telling me what they want or what I am supposed to do.

They have tried to bribe me time and time again, but it never works they way they want it to. I want to love them, but my heart and wolf feel they are stupid and can not be trusted because they make dumb decisions.

At the age of 12, I got my wolf, and when I met her, I decided to name my wolf Medusa. Whenever I express myself about my mom and dad, she avoids the problem and always says that no wolf can say anything about their past lives because it will anger the moon goddess. I feel it is because my mom and dad have a lot to do about my wolfs past.

I have tried to talk to them, explaining how I felt with no regard from them. I feel a lot of anxiety and fault because I am so closed off. No matter what I try, they don't seem to care anyway.

When I was about to turn 13, I was excited because I was supposed to inherit Luna's room. I woke up and had pancakes that I made myself and made my way down the hall to the Alpha and Lunas coridors. I faced the Future Luna/ Alphas room and just stared at the door. I do find it odd how my parents never just gave me this room when I was born. When I did try asking my dad, he said because I am still training and need to be with the training wolfs and that I hadn't earned the position to be aloud in that room.

In my mind, my mom had lived in this room before she mated my dad. I always thought it was her room but never needed it after she met my dad. So, it may sound selfish, but it should have been mine when I grew up.

I finally worked the nerve to reach for the door handle that was engraved with a fancy capital letter L. Just as I tried to open it, I heard the sound of the lock in place. I tried to force the door open, and it would budge. I decided to run and smash down the door just as I was running. I could hear my fathers footsteps. I was going to continue to make the run for it until my dad flew up the stairs and grabbed me by my waist. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. He pushed me back, and I landed on my back and just missed my head off the floor. He started yelling, "Don't you ever go in this room ever. Do you understand me?"

I was in shock. He has never yelled at me like this, especially with his alpha tone. I replied "Yes Da..Dad." From that moment on, I knew not to go in that room again. I never felt so low in my life. I looked over my father as his large frame retired across the hall to his room, and I saw my mother. She had a look of guilt and said, "I am so sorry, my sweet heart. Your father is so protective of you." I rolled my eyes, but she continued." I didn't think his not so soul mate would make him get upset with you. I will tell you everything, my precious."

I always knew she was keeping a secret from me, and it seemed like she was holding a secret. It was written all over her face.

I found out why my father reacted the way he did when I went into the future Luna's room. It was because he rejected his mate to be with my mother. The stuff in that room was from when she stayed at the pack house. The problem was my dad hated himself because even though he loved my mom, he knew he should have protected his mate even if she was supposed to be his friend. My mom spent countless nights taking care of my dad when he felt her connection to this world disappeared. Her pain makes him suffer every day. He loves my mom and told her if he could go back, he would still pick her.

The only reason my mom and dad stayed together was my mother and father shared a traumatic experience when they were younger, and they both refused to talk about it. Every time I ask anything remotely on the subject, they refuse to tell me anything. Once again, I can't help but feel like I can not find out who I really am here because no one is fully there for me.

In time, my parents apparently grew to love each other deeply. They had a past, and not even his mate could break their bond, apparently. I'm not going to be like him, I could never hurt the one made for me. When the time comes, of course. I just feel like I can be a lot to handle at times, and anytime I have had a boyfriend, they tend to leave me and say they never feel like they are good enough. I guess that's a good thing because I would always choose my soulmate before any silly little boyfriend.

Yes, I have yet to find my mate but I feel it in my bones that it will be soon and Medusa keeps on perking up when I think of going out on adventures and try to find him.

Now I'm 18 and have not found him yet. I just hope he puts up with me. My dad says I am a lot to handle, and a mate may not be good enough for my alpha blood. Now, knowing what he did, I can tell why he would worry and warned me of this.

I will love my mate regardless, and I won't be a scamp like my mom, and I won't be weak like my dads mate. I am excited to know life and what it has to offer me. I hope to learn as much as I can about my future pack. I just hope he accepts me.

I may not be skinny, but I am not huge. I take pride in my strength and know I never use it fully, but I do that because of what my father always wanted. Being the strongest was the only time he paid attention to me, and growing up, I resented him for it.
I'm somewhat short, about five feet three inches. I have long red hair. it's not a wolf thing. I just love dying my hair, blood red.

My wolf Medusa is very strong. My dad had to work extra hard for me to control her it was no picnic, but I could do it. It is the one thing I can say he never gave up on, and it makes me proud to know he had my back but sad knowing it was just because I was strong.

My mother tried to bond with me after the talk we had, and I really was going to try again. The problem was that I had just found out she found her soulmate. Not only that, but she agreed to secretly meet with him in hopes of getting to know him. I gave her hints to talk to me or even flat out and asked her what she would do if her mate came around now that she was with dad and I'm all grown up. She said she would pass him off and stay faithful to my father. The worst part was that I had found out from my schools gossip girls.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I am about to go on and live my life. Screw this one and everything that comes with it. I had some friends, but I knew they didn't really respect me. How could they? I wasn't fully aware of who I was. I knew how to take control but never felt the need to do it. I can feel I need to get out of here. It feels like I need to grow away from this place and bring something new and better back for my pack when it is my time to run it. Know I have decided I must go now. I don't know where but I am ready for this. I leave a letter for my mom and dad after I finish packing.

Mom Dad,

I love you but I have to go. Dad, you have been there for me to help train, I felt like we bonded, but you turned on me. Then you go even more out of my wave length, and you refused me my room for Luna because your ex. Maybe you should accept what you did and allowed me to move on with you because I should have been just as important.

Mom, you can do so much more with your life, and I know dad will support you, but if not, good luck with the secret hookups with your mate. You should have just talked to me or been honest, I was waiting for you that time. You are so amazing and ambitious, and that's what dad feels in love with. I will send you another letter or postcard in a few weeks, and I shall tell you how I am doing. I will then call shortly after that and see how you guys are doing.

Love you, I'll guess: Ruby Solais

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