'maybe, it was subconscious, maybe on purpose, she couldn't tell.'

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(slight filler) I very much have covid and I'm still in hiatus basically so please don't expect an update again for a while. 

(964 words)

"Aw, mi Amor, you're covered in dirt," Julieta said kneeling down to rub the dirt off her daughter. 

"ah, just a small scrape, let's get that fixed up hm?" she stated, Mira, nodding in agreement. 

"Thanks, Mami," 

She couldn't describe the feeling she got, it was warm and nice. she loved it. Her mama's touch was everything to her. 

After all, since her door faded, she felt hardly seen at all. all the small things were huge for her, she cherished the times of attention and quickly fell into an addiction to it.

It became a routine for her.

The first time, well she could remember it fondly. 

Young Mirabel stood firm, watching over her mama's stand proudly, people had fizzled out a while ago, only the odd person who came to collect some food. 

"Mirabel! where is your mama?" Abuela called, standing not too far away with some townsfolk. "she went up to casita!" Mirabel replied happily, "Ay these people need her food.... Could you please bring some Mirabel?" Abuela asked turning away to continue. 

She hurriedly grabbed a basket, Abuela hadn't said how much she needed, so a basket should suffice. She filled it with goods, deeming it enough she went bounding off to Abuela.

She was too excited to help, she realizes now she should have slowed down. But her Abuela never asked her for anything, she had to do her best.

she only remembers, her knees hitting the cold stone, her face soon after. she couldn't see anything, faint rumbling coming from somewhere else. warm liquid rolling down her face, she could taste the iron in her mouth. 

Mirabel was rolled over, her small frame lifted against someone's side,  supporting her. 

"Mirabel? Mirabel, amor are you okay?" Julieta asked, brushing Mirabel's curls out of her face. Her eyes fluttered open, gazing upon her blurry mom. 

A cloth was placed under her nose, soaking up all the blood that spilled from it. 

Julieta's face was twisted with worry, wiping away the blood from her baby's face, she picked up a fallen food item from the ground. tenderly helping her eat, sighing in relief as the wounds faded away.

She was barely hurt anyways, her mama was making a big deal out of it. 

Abuela paid no mind to the scene before her, instead of picking up the basket that still had a few items left inside it. Handing it over to the people, and following them to the injured.

"I'm okay mami, it was nothing!" Mirabel exclaimed putting on a very brave face for her mama. 

her mother just smiled warmly helping her to her feet. 


She hadn't left her room, she knew it looked damn suspicious, but she couldn't care. her mind was too filled up with what to do, she couldn't face Felix after that, let alone her familia.

"Casita, don't let anyone in" she spoke pacing the room, she tapped her forehead, desperately looking for the answer to this.

Maybe there wasn't an answer, maybe she was doomed.

She covered her eyes with her arm, maybe she was doing it all over again. She thought she grew out of it ages ago, maybe this sorta thing never really goes away.

She's just attention seeking again, she let her Tio Felix find out. If she really wanted to hide it she would have been more cautious. Rolling over in bed she sighed, her thoughts never failing to convince her. 

She lifted her hand, turning it over her eyes trained on it. a droplet of blood rolled down her fingertip, fading away as she blinked slowly. 

it was like everything slowed down, her breaths becoming shallow, her eyes watching her hands every move.  Yet her heart was racing, feeling beads of sweat roll down her face. Mirabel couldn't remember what she was doing, laying in bed, was it even dark out yet? 

Maybe everything could have been different, if only she had gotten a stupid door, maybe then things would've been okay. 

She was so needy, begging for the attention of others- it was pitiful. 

Her eyes glazed over, tears brimming them, and her insides burned a powerful fire insisting she throw up.  

Mirabel felt heavy, sinking into the mattress below her, her eyelids fluttered as they fought the battle of sleep. Falling victim to gravity's pull, her eyes closed softly, maybe this is finally the time she can rest. Basking in the warm embrace of emptiness. 


her eyes shot open, grumbling at the warm light that streamed into the room. 

"FUCK" she yelled slamming her fist into her mattress, she covered her mouth quickly waiting on bated breath for any signs of movement. 

"How hard is it to just get it right!?" she grumbled angrily, she clutched the pill bottle, tossing its empty contents into a drawer. At this moment she wanted nothing more than send a sharp dagger into her stomach, surely finishing the job this time.

Her head pounded, she was a mess, how was she supposed to face anyone after that? another reason to be laughed at, shamed. 

"oh god, and Tio Felix," Mirabel was royale screwed this time. 

---

His mouth was left agape for a few minutes, he heard the door handle creak quickly wiping off his face and composing himself.

"Felix?" Pepa's voice spoke, "are you okay, did Mirabel come to get her book?" she asked setting her stuff down.

"Y-yeah she did," he replied scratching the back of his neck, "Did something happen? you're acting strange," she said, a small cloud forming above her head.

"No I'm fine, how is Antonio?" he chuckled awkwardly, "good, he was just feeling lonely," Pepa replied, the cloud fading away at the subject change. 

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 02, 2022 ⏰

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