Baseball, Broadway, and Babies // n.s.

Chapter Twelve

Moving day.

Halfway across the country.

With two toddlers

Yay.

"Harry," Niall says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look up at him, seeing he has a concerned look on his face. "You okay?" He seems to be doing this a lot lately.

I nod, not saying anything. He sighs, shaking his head, and takes the last box to the moving truck.

It's been about a month and I'm still not over the loss of my son. But who would be? I'm affecting my family; my husband and my children. I feel like I barely smile anymore and it's starting to become a problem. The only things keeping me going are Niall and the twins.

I hear a cry, I'm assuming it's Ellie because I can tell their cries apart by now. I get up from the kitchen counter and walk into the living room where the twins are playing. Darling was holding a toy out to Ellie, who was sitting on the ground balling, trying to calm him down.

I reached down and picked him up, cradling him into my chest. "Sh, baby, Mommy is here. It's okay now." I kiss his forehead and feel Darling tug on my shorts. I look down to see her holding up a toy to me. "Thank you, baby."

"Harry?" Niall asks, walking into the house. "What's wrong with him?"

"You left him," I snap, knowing that the baby freaks out of one of us isn't in the room.

"I told you to watch him. Did you not hear me?"

"You never said that."

"I did. I said 'Harry, go sit with Ellie, I'm going to take this box.' Then you didn't answer so I asked if you were okay."

Oh. Whoops.

"Harry," Niall sighs when I don't answer. "What's wrong?"

"I just lost my child! What do you mean what's wrong?!"

"We aren't having this conversation again. It always ends in a fight then the fight ends with you telling me that you'll get help, which you never do."

"I don't want help, I want my baby back!" I shout, breaking down. It startles Ellie, making him jump.

Niall clenches his jaw, opening his mouth to say something. He changes his mind and walks out of the room.

••••

We've been driving for about three hours. Three out of about twenty-five. How fun.

Niall and I haven't talked since earlier, making the ride awkward and uncomfortable. If we weren't fighting, this would probably be a fun road trip. The twins have been loud the whole trip, well at least Darling, but now they're both sound asleep, leaving us in an even more awkward silence.

My head is against the window, tears streaming down my face as I think about what my marriage has come to in only a month. I've kissed Niall maybe four times since the miscarriage, hardly wanting to even look at him since it's happened. I need to clean up the mess I've made.

"Niall," I whisper, not moving.

"Yeah, baby?"

I small smile plays on my lips, knowing that even though I've messed up, Niall will always love me. "I'm sorry."

I hear him sigh, then I feel his hand move to my thigh and give it a squeeze. "I know you are."

He says this because I say sorry every time. We fight the same every time, I apologize the same every time. "I really am sorry this time," I say, sitting up. I look at him to see him focusing on the road with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Harry, I understand that you're upset about Peter, but you have a husband and two kids that need you. He was my child, too, Harry, but at least I didn't abandon my family."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, tears springing to my eyes. "I just- I know I'm selfish and I know I don't deserve you or the kids, but I can't function, Niall. I don't know how to explain it, but it's been hard."

"You aren't selfish, Harry, you're a parent. I'm sorry, too, for not being there for you like I should have."

"You were perfect, baby. You're the best husband anyone could ask for. I love you." I lean over the center console and kiss Niall's cheek.

"I love you, too, baby. But promise me that you'll get help this time. Really promise me."

"I promise."

"Great. Now, let's get a fresh new start."

••••

This is the last chapter of Baseball, Broadway and Babies ! It's been fun writing it , but now it's over ! Don't fear , the third book is up !

It's called Night Changes. Cliche , yes , but it fits. The prologue is up , but I don't know when the first chapter will be up because I will be SO busy the next couple of weeks. After the 15th , I should be updating everything regularly.

Go check out my Lirry book Daddy's Darling !

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Much love to all

~~ Gracie