It'll Be Okay

emergency room.

"She doesn't have any emergency contacts."

"Well I don't really know her."

"I don't know the passcode to her phone, I barely met this girl."

"Well I'm not going to leave her here alone if she doesn't have anyone to call."

"Can't I just wait in there with her? I'm not a dangerous guy, I brought her here for fucks sake."

"Who cares if I'm not family, she clearly doesn't have anyone to call."

"Hello?" my eyes open & the room is so bright. My vision adjusts & I find myself in a hospital bed. How did I get here?

"Ms. Atzi," a man in a white coat walks up to me, "I'm Dr. Gordon. How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts," I say.

"Yeah you've had quite the afternoon I hear," he's so bald the bright light makes his head shine, " Ms. Atzi you suffered a pretty severe panic attack. Have you ever been diagnosed with depression or anxiety?"

"No," I respond.

"Is this the first time this has happened?" I can feel my eyes begin fill with tears, "I'll take that as a no." He starts to write on his clipboard. Diagnosing me right off the bat. I hate that despite not saying a word, he can already tell I'm not okay. I hate that feeling, which is why I avoided ever coming to see anyone about my panic attacks.

"I'm not crazy, I'm just stressed."

"Nobody said you were crazy," Dr. Gordon assures me, "being anxious is part of life, some of us just get more anxious than others & to avoid situations like this we must take care of ourselves."

"I'm fine."

"Now you are, but going untreated can cause a lot of damage, especially a woman as young as you are, & alone. We've been trying to find an emergency contact but you seem quite new to the city. Is there someone we can call or get ahold of to let them know you're okay?"

"My roommate Gwen," I say, "I just need my phone." I pick myself up but suddenly feel dizzy.

"Don't get up too fast," he says, "you need to take it easy. There is a young man out there that's been arguing with the nurses. He's quite adamant about allowing him to come see you. I believe he has your phone, do you know him?" He points to the stranger I know outside the door arguing with a nurse & there he is, pointing towards my room, my phone in hand trying to show the poor nurse that he does know me.

"Unfortunately I do," I lay back down, "you can let him in." I give a sly smile as I see the doctor approach him, as soon as he gets the okay he rushes inside to see me. 

He takes the chair by the door & sits next to me, handing me my phone, "How are you feeling?"

I try to sit up but light-headedness overtakes me, "Fine." There's a moment of silence, he just stares at me smiling. It's so weird yet somehow so comforting & adorable about it. The fact that he argued with the nurses to allow him to come see me was kind of sweet in the strangest way.

"You took quite the fall," he chuckles smacking both his hands together, "are you pregnant or something?"

What kind of person asks such a question, especially someone who he's met twice, "oh god, no! Why the hell is that even something you would ask me."

"Hey, pregnant people faint sometimes," he throws his arms up in defense, "why else would you faint?"

He's starting to get on my nerves. The way this man asks without any sort of sensitivity or filter really grinds my gears. Yet somehow I can't be more than fascinated with him. Every other guy who's crossed my path has either been extremely sweet or an extreme asshole. This guy is a good balance of both.