Heaven // Ryan Tedder

Chapter Twenty-Seven; Can't Stop

When Janelle arrived home, she quickly paid the taxi driver, before getting out of the vehicle, gazing up at the apartment building. Thankfully, she knew that Joshua would still be at work, but she didn't have long before he came home. She could only hope that when he did, he wouldn't be in an awful mood. She hoped he'd had enough time to calm down after yesterday.

She made her way up to the door as the cab drove away, opening up the door and stepping inside. She walked down the hall and over to the stairs, which for whatever reason, felt like there was more to climb today. She guessed that it was just nervousness. Nervousness for what might happen when Joshua came home to find her there after last night.

She got up to their floor, making her way over to the door to their apartment and pulling her keys out of her pocket. She unlocked the door, before heading inside, looking around at the apartment. Everything was exactly the way it had been when she left last night; no new dishes in the sink, even the blanket on the couch was draped the same way it was.

She hung her purse up on a hook beside the door, before toeing off her shoes, leaving them on the floor. She switched on the lights, deciding that she'd clean until Joshua came home; then, he'd at least come back to a tidy apartment.

She went over to the sink, turning on the faucet and beginning to wash some of the dishes. As she worked, a song by OneRepublic happened to pop into her head, and she began to hum along to it. She couldn't, for the life of her, remember the name of it, but she knew that she liked it. Imagining how Ryan wrote those lyrics by himself intrigued her; he was so incredibly talented.

Which was why she still wondered; why her? Why did he care so much about her, out of all the people in this city, of all the people in this world, why would such an amazing, talented musician care about her?

About an hour or two after Janelle had left his house, Ryan sat at his desk, a pen in his hand, as he stared down at his notebook, which was open, revealing his newest lyrics. It seemed as though, lately, everything he came up with seemed to be about Janelle. He wanted to put out new music again, but would everyone know that it was about her? What about his band? They still didn't know that he was still talking to her. And only two of them new that she existed. Would those two hear the song and automatically know that he had feelings for her, the waitress that he met only a month ago?

Ryan let out a long sigh, tossing his pen down onto his desk before running his hands through his dirty blond hair. He was a bit upset that she left to go make amends with Joshua. Hadn't she learned? He clearly didn't love her, if he really did, he wouldn't have hit her. He wouldn't continually cheat on her and break her trust. Why couldn't she see?

Ryan knew that it wasn't really his problem, at least, it wasn't supposed to be, only, he made it his problem when Abby told him about what was happening with Janelle. Now, he kept himself awake all night trying to figure out ways to get her away from her stupid, abusive, cheating boyfriend. And no matter how much he pondered it, he still came up dry. He didn't know how to help her, especially if she couldn't actually accept his help and admit that she knew Joshua didn't really care about her.

He had to have really brainwashed her for her to believe that he truly loved her, which was the root of Ryan's predicament. If she believed that he loved her, and that she loved him, he could never get her to leave him, no matter how hard he tried. Joshua was what she knew, what she was comfortable with. She hadn't seen a good relationship, with someone who really cared, loved, and cherished her. All she had seen was a relationship of broken trust, cheating, and lies. If that was all she knew, it would be all she looked for, all she wanted, all she was comfortable with.

Ryan wanted so desperately to just reach out and pull her out of that life. He could show her real love, real care. But would she ever let him? Would she ever actually build up the courage to leave Joshua and run to Ryan?

Ryan wished he hadn't let her go back, but he knew that it was something she had to do. She was a grown woman, and she had to make her own decisions regarding her relationship, although Ryan wished he could help her.

He feared for her safety. It was clear that Joshua was a loose cannon, only able to hold in his anger when around certain people. If angered, he was a lion about to pounce, and Janelle just so happened to be his prey.

He didn't want her to get hurt again, especially not after seeing her like that last night. Although she tried to hide it, the fear and sadness was adamant in those ocean-blue eyes of hers. All Ryan wanted was to take that fear away. He only wanted her to be happy.

And Joshua. Ryan was still mentally preparing himself to stay composed if he ever saw him again. After the things he'd done to Janelle, he wanted to kill him, and Ryan wasn't the type for violence. He could only hope that he'd never have to see his ugly, lying face ever again.

But, if Janelle still loved him, he'd just have to wait for her. Wait for her to realise that she deserved so much more. And until then, whenever she needed him, he'd be there.